prologue: an old man in a red coat stands by his window looking at the arctic landscape. "the arctic winters have gotten warmer", thought the old man. he was convinced that he could go out without his coat and not even get frostbite. "signs of the times", says the old man to himself, "signs of the times". a beep reaches his ears. "finally, the message i've been waiting for." the old man goes to his computer. click.
************************************
to: secret agent nikolay code name santa claus, operation christmas headquarters, north pole
from: kgb high command, kgb central headquarters, the kremlin, moscow
TOP SECRET. FOR YOUR EYES ONLY.
we are now in the final stages of our plan for world domination. high command commends you, comrade nikolay, on the progress of your mission. the mind control devices you have planted in your toys are now being monitored by central headquarters. based on our satellite scans, your delivery method using reindeer powered sleigh has thus far proven effective, as the devices have already spread in all corners of the world. it has also successfully penetrated the specified strategic points, like the white house, UN headquarters, and the homes of other important world leaders. come christmas eve, we will activate these devices and turn the children of the world into zombies who will carry out our commands. this new zombie army will turn against their parents, who will be forced to submit to their children's wishes, and we will rule the world! bwahahahaha!
in line with our master plan, high command wishes to give you your new orders:
** on dec 24 at exactly 2255 hours GMT +12:00, we will commence with the final phase of operation christmas. you will form your reindeer delivery squad, and at exactly 2300 hours GMT +12:00 you will launch from your hidden base in the north pole and begin delivery of the toys planted with the trigerring module for the mind control devices already in place. you will begin delivering to the first timezone that will hit dec 25 (GMT +12:00) and after completion of delivery in that timezone you will continue on to succeeding timezones. as the planet turns in its axis, our satellites will position themselves on the timezone that will be hitting dec 25 and send a signal to the trigerring module, which in turn will activate the mind control device, and voila, instant world domination. while the world parties, it shall fall into our hands timezone by timezone. bwahahahaha!
** kgb spies in the cia have reported the presence of a double agent in your ranks, as american intelligence agents at langley seem to have recently caught on to our scheme. high command orders you to identify this spy and eliminate him immediately! initial investigation have so far placed our suspicions on the commander of your delivery squad, major rudolph, as his nose may possibly be used as a beacon for cia satellites to monitor your progress. our investigation also indicated that he may also have accomplices among the elves in your research and development team. you must root them out and teach them what it means to be on your "naughty" list.
** based on initial tests of our mind control devices, our philippine operations is facing some setbacks. filipino children are currently being brain washed by a tune used in the popular noontime show "wowowee". the tune's sequence goes: boom-ta-rat-ta-rat! boom-ta-rat-ta-rat! ta-ra-rat! ta-ra-rat! boom! boom! boom! this may sound quite benign when you first hear it, but our scientists have discovered that the said tune is interfering with the frequency we are using to control the children's brain waves. intelligence reports have pointed to an alias "willie revillame", who is known to be the mastermind behind "wowowee". the said noontime show has already begun systematic enslavement of whole sections of the philippine populace. even seemingly respectable old women are selling their dignity for a thousand pesos and a chance to be shown on national TV. you must understand, comrade nikolay, that alias "willie revillame" CANNOT be underestimated. our whole operation will fail if the cia discovers this flaw in our grand plan. alias "willie revillame" must be stopped!
** once we take over the world, we are going to need puppet administrators that will assist us in directing world affairs. recent news has pointed out a suitable source of candidates: philippine congressmen. it was discovered that their brains waves can easily be manipulated by simple illusions of money and power. thus, with this in mind, our scientists have designed a new mind control device especially for them. we will be sending you a list of candidates for delivery of the device, and you will implement delivery of this new device together with the trigerring module.
high command cannot over emphasize the fact: FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION. the motherland has long awaited to take over the world and finally exact its revenge on america. if our plan succeeds, the americans will finally learn what it means to be enslaved. america will finally learn what it means to do the bidding of the world's new, and only, superpower! america will learn what it feels to have airplanes bomb their cities and tanks crash through their streets! america will learn what it feels to have foreign soldiers raping their own women! vengeance is sweet! bwahahahahaha!
and most importantly, remember this comrade nikolay: the motherland owes you deeply and will never forget you in your endeavors. if all goes well, as a reward we will change the meaning of christmas day. every year for the next thousand years, christmas day will no longer be about the child who was born in a manger, it will be to celebrate the exploits of st. nikolay a.k.a. santa claus! children of the next thousand generations will be singing praises to your name! images of you driving your reindeer powered sleigh or you climbing in chimneys to deliver your "gifts" will be placed in every room in every house in every nation in the whole wide world! in their eyes, you will be a god!
but of course, we communists don't believe in god. bwahahahaha!
long live the revolution!
KGB HIGH COMMAND
P.S. delete message after reading or your computer will explode in 5 seconds.
************************************
epilogue: fortunately for the world (or unfortunately, which ever side of the fence you stand), st. nikolay had been negligent and never read the last sentence of the message from kgb high command. 5 seconds later, cia satellites detect a huge and powerful explosion in the north pole. operation christmas's secret base was destroyed. the explosion also killed major rudolph and his reindeer squad and all the elves. but st. nikolay's body was never found. kgb high command's plan was never carried out. the world is safe... for now. but is it really?
Saturday, December 16, 2006
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
sabado nights
this was about 3 saturdays ago
#################################################
a generic saturday evening in my neighborhood would involve the following: a few houses away to the left, a murder... no, a massacre is being committed against supposedly popular songs, facilitated in no small part by that evil evil invention: the portable videoke machine. meanwhile, a few meters away in the opposite direction, another house is blasting the night with loud and irritating 80's disco music (with the purpose of driving away evil spirits like we do every new year's eve, i suppose?). and right in front of our house, members of the beer belly club gather for their weekly booze sessions, drinking themselves silly like they had a strong death wish (their motto being: eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we die), and as a result causing a racket not unlike what you would hear from a pack of squabbling dogs.
imagine the pain of having to hear "brother louie" playing over and over again in an infinite loop, combined with a rendition of "my way" so horrible that it would make frank sinatra rise from the grave to seek justice by strangling the singer. enduring these torments every weekend may be enough to qualify me for sainthood. that would make me saint kenneth, patron saint of those who suffer from uncivilized neighbors.
but this was not your usual saturday evening. no songs were being massacred. no 80's disco music to wreak havoc upon the night. and the beer belly club was mercifully absent (i hope their wives, or their livers, are telling them to slow things down). it was that rare and pleasant saturday evening, the general peace and quiet allowing me to catch up on my backlog of books. but as to how unusual it would actually be, i had not realized yet.
sir francis drake was about to finish up his attack against a contingent of the spanish armada that was anchored in cadiz when i hear gasps of alarm from the next door neighbor's house. curiosity had gotten the better of me, so sir francis drake took a break for a while. i put my book down and listened. then the word i had always dreaded reached my ears: sunog (fire).
the combination of iced coffee and panic gave me palpitations. i jumped out of my seat, ran out of the room, and looked through the windows on each side of the house. a terrible light brightened the sky north of us. the fire was huge and looked dangerously near. i alerted everyone in the house.
there's nothing like a common threat to galvanize a whole community to action, even though you annoy each other's guts. my mom and my aunt ran outside to gather any news they could get about the fire. calls were made to the local fire department. updates as to the location and status of the fire was broadcast around the neighborhood. and just in case, everybody started filling up all available buckets and containers with water. in that moment of great danger, everyone had suddenly become comrades. how pinoy.
meanwhile, we switched the radio to the AM band and searched for any station reporting the incident. sure enough, an evening news program caught wind of the fire and a reporter was already on site giving a blow by blow account. according to the report, the fire was at a factory just 3 or 4 blocks away. the city's firetrucks were having a hard time getting to it because the street leading to the factory was too tight. right. so what else is new?
the reporter began doing interviews with the factory's security guard and onlookers in the area. by the sound of the it, the security guard, the onlookers and even the reporter himself seemed to be enjoying the spectacle. why... those crabs! just wait till it's YOUR house...
in the face of oncoming catastrophe, i started evaluating my dependence on my possessions. i looked at my books, my pc, my collection of music cds, dvds, toys and gadgets... would i be able to live without all these? i had begun to resign myself to a future without them. i think it was dostoevski who wrote that man is a being who can get used to anything. guess i'll have to get used to losing my stuff.
then the irony of it struck me. how strange it is for us to spend a huge chunk of what little time we have allotted on this earth to accumulate all our possessions, and yet the moment we lose them by circumstances cruel yet indifferent, then will those possessions ultimately bring us nothing but pain. we slave away at our tiny office cubicles to accumulate all this but in the face of our common destiny, it wouldn't matter. we won't be able to bring them with us anyway.
don't be mistaken. i do not advocate a return to the stone age. i just find it oddly poetic that it has to take something catastrophic like a fire or a flood or the specter of imminent death to jar our senses and get our priorities straight. things that we consider bad sometimes do serve a purpose. it's up to us to figure out how to turn it to our advantage.
yet what makes things tragic is when the going gets back to being good, we take advantage of the luxury by turning priorities back to our diverse frivolities. just when we see the light, just when we learn something profound and supposedly life changing, then we forget. we never seem to learn. funny thing this, human nature.
our radio reporter finally comes back on air with an update. a firewall was now blocking the spread of the fire. we were spared! waves of relief wash over me. looks like we won't have to go back to the stone age after all. things begin quieting down in the neighborhood. everybody seems to have lost interest in the fire after hearing the good news. we were all back to minding our own business. so continues the story of sir francis drake and the spanish armada...
and that is how i spent my saturday evening.
but wait... what's that i hear? oh crap, they're singing again. like nero playing the lute while the rest of rome burned to the ground.
#################################################
a generic saturday evening in my neighborhood would involve the following: a few houses away to the left, a murder... no, a massacre is being committed against supposedly popular songs, facilitated in no small part by that evil evil invention: the portable videoke machine. meanwhile, a few meters away in the opposite direction, another house is blasting the night with loud and irritating 80's disco music (with the purpose of driving away evil spirits like we do every new year's eve, i suppose?). and right in front of our house, members of the beer belly club gather for their weekly booze sessions, drinking themselves silly like they had a strong death wish (their motto being: eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we die), and as a result causing a racket not unlike what you would hear from a pack of squabbling dogs.
imagine the pain of having to hear "brother louie" playing over and over again in an infinite loop, combined with a rendition of "my way" so horrible that it would make frank sinatra rise from the grave to seek justice by strangling the singer. enduring these torments every weekend may be enough to qualify me for sainthood. that would make me saint kenneth, patron saint of those who suffer from uncivilized neighbors.
but this was not your usual saturday evening. no songs were being massacred. no 80's disco music to wreak havoc upon the night. and the beer belly club was mercifully absent (i hope their wives, or their livers, are telling them to slow things down). it was that rare and pleasant saturday evening, the general peace and quiet allowing me to catch up on my backlog of books. but as to how unusual it would actually be, i had not realized yet.
sir francis drake was about to finish up his attack against a contingent of the spanish armada that was anchored in cadiz when i hear gasps of alarm from the next door neighbor's house. curiosity had gotten the better of me, so sir francis drake took a break for a while. i put my book down and listened. then the word i had always dreaded reached my ears: sunog (fire).
the combination of iced coffee and panic gave me palpitations. i jumped out of my seat, ran out of the room, and looked through the windows on each side of the house. a terrible light brightened the sky north of us. the fire was huge and looked dangerously near. i alerted everyone in the house.
there's nothing like a common threat to galvanize a whole community to action, even though you annoy each other's guts. my mom and my aunt ran outside to gather any news they could get about the fire. calls were made to the local fire department. updates as to the location and status of the fire was broadcast around the neighborhood. and just in case, everybody started filling up all available buckets and containers with water. in that moment of great danger, everyone had suddenly become comrades. how pinoy.
meanwhile, we switched the radio to the AM band and searched for any station reporting the incident. sure enough, an evening news program caught wind of the fire and a reporter was already on site giving a blow by blow account. according to the report, the fire was at a factory just 3 or 4 blocks away. the city's firetrucks were having a hard time getting to it because the street leading to the factory was too tight. right. so what else is new?
the reporter began doing interviews with the factory's security guard and onlookers in the area. by the sound of the it, the security guard, the onlookers and even the reporter himself seemed to be enjoying the spectacle. why... those crabs! just wait till it's YOUR house...
in the face of oncoming catastrophe, i started evaluating my dependence on my possessions. i looked at my books, my pc, my collection of music cds, dvds, toys and gadgets... would i be able to live without all these? i had begun to resign myself to a future without them. i think it was dostoevski who wrote that man is a being who can get used to anything. guess i'll have to get used to losing my stuff.
then the irony of it struck me. how strange it is for us to spend a huge chunk of what little time we have allotted on this earth to accumulate all our possessions, and yet the moment we lose them by circumstances cruel yet indifferent, then will those possessions ultimately bring us nothing but pain. we slave away at our tiny office cubicles to accumulate all this but in the face of our common destiny, it wouldn't matter. we won't be able to bring them with us anyway.
don't be mistaken. i do not advocate a return to the stone age. i just find it oddly poetic that it has to take something catastrophic like a fire or a flood or the specter of imminent death to jar our senses and get our priorities straight. things that we consider bad sometimes do serve a purpose. it's up to us to figure out how to turn it to our advantage.
yet what makes things tragic is when the going gets back to being good, we take advantage of the luxury by turning priorities back to our diverse frivolities. just when we see the light, just when we learn something profound and supposedly life changing, then we forget. we never seem to learn. funny thing this, human nature.
our radio reporter finally comes back on air with an update. a firewall was now blocking the spread of the fire. we were spared! waves of relief wash over me. looks like we won't have to go back to the stone age after all. things begin quieting down in the neighborhood. everybody seems to have lost interest in the fire after hearing the good news. we were all back to minding our own business. so continues the story of sir francis drake and the spanish armada...
and that is how i spent my saturday evening.
but wait... what's that i hear? oh crap, they're singing again. like nero playing the lute while the rest of rome burned to the ground.
Monday, December 04, 2006
capuccino for free!
back on the subject of unique and unusual names. at work, i have an officemate named freedom (her parents must be activists of some sort) and someone in another department named life. disclaimer: i have no intention of poking fun at both of you guys, nor do i consider you lower beings simply on the account of your given names, for given names maketh not a man. but think about the implications: what if they ordered coffee at starbucks or pizza at yellow cab? in ms. freedom's case, people call her "free", so when the the counter at starbucks announces the arrival of her order they'd be shouting: "capuccino for free!". in mr. life's case, if he makes an order at yellow cab, they'd be announcing: "pizza for life!". imagine how that sounds: free coffee and a life time supply of pizza! a stampede would ensue upon announcement, for sure. everybody would be rushing to the counter...
...but on second thought, at least their parents hadn't named them death and slavery...
...but on second thought, at least their parents hadn't named them death and slavery...
Monday, November 27, 2006
is doing good always good?
an edited version of the ff. piece was published last saturday 11/25/06 in the crossline section of sunstar cebu's weekend magazine
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is doing good always good?
this question entered my mind when a curious thing happened to me on the way home from work one night. i was walking to the jeepney stop where i usually get my ride when i met one of the security guards from my office on the way. he flashed a wide grin when he saw me, almost like a sigh of relief.
"bossing!", we greeted each other. this was followed by some chitchat on what floor of the office building i was actually in and under what department i belonged to. after about a minute or so, my already grumbling stomach reminded me to get home, so i was about to end the conversation when he asked me if he could borrow twenty pesos so he could get a ride home.
this surprised me a bit. we weren't close. i didn't know his name, and he probably didn't know mine. we just called each other "bossing". i didn't even like the guy so much, as he was the guard who always seemed to be so strict on me, inspecting me everytime i enter the office to see if i was wearing the proper attire, while everybody else escapes his scrutiny. but i thought, "uhhh ok... sure, why not? this is my chance to do something nice to someone who's practically a stranger..." i quickly took out from my wallet a crisp twenty peso bill and gave it to him.
he apologetically took the money and thanked me, saying that his salary had been delayed by the security agency. i assured him that it was no problem. after a final word of thanks from him, we parted and i went back on my way. then something unexpectedly bothered me.
i felt guilty.
yes, you read that right. i felt guilty. of all things to feel guilty about, it was for doing a good thing. weird. why? this i pondered on the ride home.
was it really a "good" thing in the first place? it couldn't have been inherently bad. the guy needed help, and i gave it to him. i did it without any ulterior motive behind me, no plan of using it to gain something for myself, and expecting nothing in return. common sense dictates that it couldn't have been a bad thing in itself.
could it have been just my exasperation over the general unfairness of the world? maybe. here i was, with some extra money i didn't need that badly, and there he was, the opposite of me, needing just a little money to get home but not having it. he might even have a family waiting for him to bring something home for the dinner table.
but the world IS generally unfair to everyone, me included. it can't be my fault that the world is unfair. it just is. we are all the walking wounded, as they say. the world piles upon us all layer upon layer of crap and we are all just fellow sufferers in this shared predicament. so it can't be that. so why the guilt?
then it hit me. there is something so deliciously superior about doing a good thing to someone in need. i actually felt a bit smug about doing the "good" deed, as if i felt good that he was in situation where he needed my help. as if i was happy that i had an advantage over him so i could "help" him.
it's the same way you can consider acts of charity as basically acts of vanity too. giving those "bundles of joy" every christmas not just calms your own conscience. it also confirms your superiority over the benificiaries of your benevolence, not just in terms of material wealth, but also in goodness, as if goodness can be bought with wealth.
so is that what the good feeling you get after doing something good really is, a confirmation of your superiority? a mere ego boost?
they say good should not be a means to an end, it should be an end in itself. but human nature always seems to find a way to twist the good. does this stop us then from doing the good?
as humans, we can never be perfect. but it is also human to aspire to be perfect. we live our lives in an endless struggle to attain our ideals.
the myth of sisyphus comes to mind. for his crimes against the gods, sisyphus was condemned to roll a boulder up the side of a hill and topple it down the other side. but just when he is about to reach the top and succeed, his strength fails him and the boulder rolls back down the mountain. he goes back for the boulder, begins again, and the cycle continues.
like sisyphus, we labor on to reach our ideal of good. but just when we seem to be getting there, we commit mistakes, things that we know are wrong, things that bother our consience. we are doomed to fail in our attempt to reach perfection.
but that does not mean we stop. even if we may never reach perfection in our daily lives, our effort to reach it adds meaning to our life. it is in the struggle that we find meaning.
thus we must labor on and run the good race, even if at times we fall down, even if we fail, because our failures are bridges to Him in Whom we will find perfection.
########################################
is doing good always good?
this question entered my mind when a curious thing happened to me on the way home from work one night. i was walking to the jeepney stop where i usually get my ride when i met one of the security guards from my office on the way. he flashed a wide grin when he saw me, almost like a sigh of relief.
"bossing!", we greeted each other. this was followed by some chitchat on what floor of the office building i was actually in and under what department i belonged to. after about a minute or so, my already grumbling stomach reminded me to get home, so i was about to end the conversation when he asked me if he could borrow twenty pesos so he could get a ride home.
this surprised me a bit. we weren't close. i didn't know his name, and he probably didn't know mine. we just called each other "bossing". i didn't even like the guy so much, as he was the guard who always seemed to be so strict on me, inspecting me everytime i enter the office to see if i was wearing the proper attire, while everybody else escapes his scrutiny. but i thought, "uhhh ok... sure, why not? this is my chance to do something nice to someone who's practically a stranger..." i quickly took out from my wallet a crisp twenty peso bill and gave it to him.
he apologetically took the money and thanked me, saying that his salary had been delayed by the security agency. i assured him that it was no problem. after a final word of thanks from him, we parted and i went back on my way. then something unexpectedly bothered me.
i felt guilty.
yes, you read that right. i felt guilty. of all things to feel guilty about, it was for doing a good thing. weird. why? this i pondered on the ride home.
was it really a "good" thing in the first place? it couldn't have been inherently bad. the guy needed help, and i gave it to him. i did it without any ulterior motive behind me, no plan of using it to gain something for myself, and expecting nothing in return. common sense dictates that it couldn't have been a bad thing in itself.
could it have been just my exasperation over the general unfairness of the world? maybe. here i was, with some extra money i didn't need that badly, and there he was, the opposite of me, needing just a little money to get home but not having it. he might even have a family waiting for him to bring something home for the dinner table.
but the world IS generally unfair to everyone, me included. it can't be my fault that the world is unfair. it just is. we are all the walking wounded, as they say. the world piles upon us all layer upon layer of crap and we are all just fellow sufferers in this shared predicament. so it can't be that. so why the guilt?
then it hit me. there is something so deliciously superior about doing a good thing to someone in need. i actually felt a bit smug about doing the "good" deed, as if i felt good that he was in situation where he needed my help. as if i was happy that i had an advantage over him so i could "help" him.
it's the same way you can consider acts of charity as basically acts of vanity too. giving those "bundles of joy" every christmas not just calms your own conscience. it also confirms your superiority over the benificiaries of your benevolence, not just in terms of material wealth, but also in goodness, as if goodness can be bought with wealth.
so is that what the good feeling you get after doing something good really is, a confirmation of your superiority? a mere ego boost?
they say good should not be a means to an end, it should be an end in itself. but human nature always seems to find a way to twist the good. does this stop us then from doing the good?
as humans, we can never be perfect. but it is also human to aspire to be perfect. we live our lives in an endless struggle to attain our ideals.
the myth of sisyphus comes to mind. for his crimes against the gods, sisyphus was condemned to roll a boulder up the side of a hill and topple it down the other side. but just when he is about to reach the top and succeed, his strength fails him and the boulder rolls back down the mountain. he goes back for the boulder, begins again, and the cycle continues.
like sisyphus, we labor on to reach our ideal of good. but just when we seem to be getting there, we commit mistakes, things that we know are wrong, things that bother our consience. we are doomed to fail in our attempt to reach perfection.
but that does not mean we stop. even if we may never reach perfection in our daily lives, our effort to reach it adds meaning to our life. it is in the struggle that we find meaning.
thus we must labor on and run the good race, even if at times we fall down, even if we fail, because our failures are bridges to Him in Whom we will find perfection.
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
poor loser(s)
ralf souquet just happened to suck at his game at a very bad time. and ronnie alcano's peaking performance made things even worse for souquet, making alcano the 3rd filipino to win the world pool championship.
i'm not taking anything away from alcano, of course. except for that moment when the score stood at 15-9 where he missed the 9-ball (of all balls on the table...), he played great pool against souquet. his break was efficient: soft yet accurate, which is just the opposite of the djanggo bustamante break with the accompanying flying kick from his right leg. his combination shots with the 9-ball were gutsy game winners which the crowd loved. and his safety game was just beautiful it boggled the mind, much to souquet's discomfort. to reach the final he even beat other big name players in the tournament like efren "bata" reyes and the defending champion wu chia ching of taiwan.
but nevertheless, ralf souquet simply sucked... and he knew it. he struggled with a lot of errors and which alcano took advantage of to dominate the match. even his break didn't help him, not giving him a clear shot to the next object ball. in fact, he sucked so much that during the post game interview, he couldn't help but shed tears in front of God, espn, and everybody. poor loser. seeing a grown man like him cry was so unsettling for anthony suntay (who did the post game interview) that, in a weak attempt to make souquet feel better, suntay encouraged the crowd to applaud souquet, telling him to "feel the love" of the filipino fans. hahahahahaha. schadenfreude, more like.
naturally, the newspaper headlines the following day were all about alcano's win. and president arroyo, the political animal that she is, does the same thing she did with manny pacquiao and takes advantage of the situation, awarding alcano the "champion for life" award (corny name for an award, no?) and a cool 1 million pesos (kaaachiiing). i wouldn't be surprised if members of the house of representatives and the senate, plus his home town's mayor, vice mayor, ... [fill in the blanks] ... up to the baranggay tanod, will all be lining up to give him heaps and heaps and heaps of awards. anything to bask in the reflected glory of alcano's victory, i guess.
but wait a minute... don't you notice something here? try mentioning a list of sports filipinos have excelled at internationally. and when i say internationally, i mean the philippines vs. the world kind of international. so in that definition, our win at the last sea games won't count (we had homecourt advantage there anyway). let's see, we have billiards, boxing, bowling... see it now? aside from the obvious and strange fact that they all start with the letter B, the other thing common with them is that they are all individual sports.
tell me, have filipinos ever excelled in a team sport internationally? let's see... basketball? nope... we can't even win gold at the asian games. football? even worse, i think myanmar just gave the philippine team a good thumping at a southeast asian event recently... uhhh, rugby? does the philippines even have a rugby team? rugby boys, maybe... how about baseball? yeah, we did win once in an international little league competition some years ago, but we did it by sending overage players. holy crap. we can't even seem to win in team sports without cheating!
what the hell does that mean? that pinoys can only excel when they are working for their own glory? that pinoys cannot grasp the concept of a TEAM, much more the concept of a NATION? another result of the notorious crab mentality that we all complain about but never seem to conquer?
doesn't speak so well for us as a people, no?
i'm not taking anything away from alcano, of course. except for that moment when the score stood at 15-9 where he missed the 9-ball (of all balls on the table...), he played great pool against souquet. his break was efficient: soft yet accurate, which is just the opposite of the djanggo bustamante break with the accompanying flying kick from his right leg. his combination shots with the 9-ball were gutsy game winners which the crowd loved. and his safety game was just beautiful it boggled the mind, much to souquet's discomfort. to reach the final he even beat other big name players in the tournament like efren "bata" reyes and the defending champion wu chia ching of taiwan.
but nevertheless, ralf souquet simply sucked... and he knew it. he struggled with a lot of errors and which alcano took advantage of to dominate the match. even his break didn't help him, not giving him a clear shot to the next object ball. in fact, he sucked so much that during the post game interview, he couldn't help but shed tears in front of God, espn, and everybody. poor loser. seeing a grown man like him cry was so unsettling for anthony suntay (who did the post game interview) that, in a weak attempt to make souquet feel better, suntay encouraged the crowd to applaud souquet, telling him to "feel the love" of the filipino fans. hahahahahaha. schadenfreude, more like.
naturally, the newspaper headlines the following day were all about alcano's win. and president arroyo, the political animal that she is, does the same thing she did with manny pacquiao and takes advantage of the situation, awarding alcano the "champion for life" award (corny name for an award, no?) and a cool 1 million pesos (kaaachiiing). i wouldn't be surprised if members of the house of representatives and the senate, plus his home town's mayor, vice mayor, ... [fill in the blanks] ... up to the baranggay tanod, will all be lining up to give him heaps and heaps and heaps of awards. anything to bask in the reflected glory of alcano's victory, i guess.
but wait a minute... don't you notice something here? try mentioning a list of sports filipinos have excelled at internationally. and when i say internationally, i mean the philippines vs. the world kind of international. so in that definition, our win at the last sea games won't count (we had homecourt advantage there anyway). let's see, we have billiards, boxing, bowling... see it now? aside from the obvious and strange fact that they all start with the letter B, the other thing common with them is that they are all individual sports.
tell me, have filipinos ever excelled in a team sport internationally? let's see... basketball? nope... we can't even win gold at the asian games. football? even worse, i think myanmar just gave the philippine team a good thumping at a southeast asian event recently... uhhh, rugby? does the philippines even have a rugby team? rugby boys, maybe... how about baseball? yeah, we did win once in an international little league competition some years ago, but we did it by sending overage players. holy crap. we can't even seem to win in team sports without cheating!
what the hell does that mean? that pinoys can only excel when they are working for their own glory? that pinoys cannot grasp the concept of a TEAM, much more the concept of a NATION? another result of the notorious crab mentality that we all complain about but never seem to conquer?
doesn't speak so well for us as a people, no?
Thursday, October 26, 2006
remembrance of turtles past
as a personal gift to myself for my 24th birthday, i bought an action figure of the teenage mutant ninja turtle leonardo. aside from his "Trusty katanas", leonardo also came with "New Sabers!", "New Straight Swords!", and "Ninja Throwing Stars!". and apart from the "New Warrior Weapons!", what made this leonardo cooler was it had "New Ninja Moves! Weapon Spinning Action!", meaning, if you squeeze his legs together, leonardo will start spinning his weapons to make them "Slice and Dice!". "These new moves rock!", leonardo says.
cooool. it's great to escape from the horrors of being "grown up" and go back to being a kid again, once in a while.
i used to have an action figure of that same leonardo eons ago, when i was a kid. of all the action figures i had, he was my favorite. for weapons, leonardo sr. had two katana swords, two ninja throwing stars, a club that looked like an armadillo, a pizza like thingy with blades jutting out of the edges, and a turtle shell that opens at the back where he can store his weapons. i no longer have him with me, owing to my carelessness as a kid.
my love affair with the turtles started when i was in 4th grade. typhoon ruping had just struck cebu, and we spent the next month or so living in the stone age, with neither electricity, light, or television. then when the electricity came back, like the bringers of light, so appeared the teenage mutant ninja turtles.
i remember being glued to the tv on friday nights waiting for each new episode of the turtles. i watched them in their struggle against shredder and the foot, and laughed at their weird and silly enemies like bebop (a mutant warthog) and rocksteady (a mutant rhino) and krang (a brainlike alien with a robot body). then after the turtles, an episode of the x-men came next on tv. i also loved the x-men (i still do), but for childish silliness, nothing beats the turtles.
at the end of the school year during 4th grade, our teachers allowed us kids to bring our toys along with us to school. i salivated at what my classmates brought with them. the ninja turtles! there was leonardo! and rafael and donatello and michaelangelo! i HAD to get one. i begged... no... i pestered my mother to buy me a toy. when that didn't work, i bribed her with my report card (my grades still looked great those days), so she gave in.
after a run of about two years or so on tv, the turtles disappeared. then i lost leonardo sr. and then came high school. the "REAL WORLD" was now upon me. i had to grow up. it was all downhill from there.
so now i struggle with the evils of work, paying the bills, and worrying about "THE FUTURE". work is fine, i can bear it. paying the bills is fine, i can swallow that. but the "THE FUTURE" scares me shitless.
there you are patiently slugging it out with the devils of "THE FUTURE". you seem to be winning. things seem to look good. and then WHAM! "THE FUTURE" gives you a powerful uppercut on the chin, and you are down on your butt on the canvass with the referee giving you the count. you are dazed. you are confused. but you have to get up. you just can't give up. you can't wimp out. it all seems so pointless, but you have no choice.
so you get up off your ass and slug it out again. and it goes on, and on. it's a cruel cycle.
can you blame me then, or anyone else for that matter, if i spend a few moments of my time dreaming that i was a kid again? if only life were as clean and simple as an episode of the turtles, where you KNOW the good guys always win against the bad guys at the end of this week's episode.
but life is not that way. and to grow up is to realize that life is not that way. you just have to swallow it if you are to survive. at times i despair over that fact. makes me want my innocence back.
in his poem "ode on a distant prospect of eton college", thomas grey lamented:
"yet ah! why should they know their fate?
since sorrow never comes too late
and happiness too swiftly flies
thought would destroy their paradise
no more; where ignorance is bliss
'tis folly to be wise."
ahh... the dillema, between sorrowful wisdom and ignorant bliss. but we cannot remain ignorant and innocent forever. either we open our eyes, or our eyes are forced open. but every once in a while, i close my eyes for a moment and pretend that i was kid again, that everything would be alright after this week's episode. then i open my eyes again, and, re-energized, i continue my struggle with "THE FUTURE".
bring it on...
cooool. it's great to escape from the horrors of being "grown up" and go back to being a kid again, once in a while.
i used to have an action figure of that same leonardo eons ago, when i was a kid. of all the action figures i had, he was my favorite. for weapons, leonardo sr. had two katana swords, two ninja throwing stars, a club that looked like an armadillo, a pizza like thingy with blades jutting out of the edges, and a turtle shell that opens at the back where he can store his weapons. i no longer have him with me, owing to my carelessness as a kid.
my love affair with the turtles started when i was in 4th grade. typhoon ruping had just struck cebu, and we spent the next month or so living in the stone age, with neither electricity, light, or television. then when the electricity came back, like the bringers of light, so appeared the teenage mutant ninja turtles.
i remember being glued to the tv on friday nights waiting for each new episode of the turtles. i watched them in their struggle against shredder and the foot, and laughed at their weird and silly enemies like bebop (a mutant warthog) and rocksteady (a mutant rhino) and krang (a brainlike alien with a robot body). then after the turtles, an episode of the x-men came next on tv. i also loved the x-men (i still do), but for childish silliness, nothing beats the turtles.
at the end of the school year during 4th grade, our teachers allowed us kids to bring our toys along with us to school. i salivated at what my classmates brought with them. the ninja turtles! there was leonardo! and rafael and donatello and michaelangelo! i HAD to get one. i begged... no... i pestered my mother to buy me a toy. when that didn't work, i bribed her with my report card (my grades still looked great those days), so she gave in.
after a run of about two years or so on tv, the turtles disappeared. then i lost leonardo sr. and then came high school. the "REAL WORLD" was now upon me. i had to grow up. it was all downhill from there.
so now i struggle with the evils of work, paying the bills, and worrying about "THE FUTURE". work is fine, i can bear it. paying the bills is fine, i can swallow that. but the "THE FUTURE" scares me shitless.
there you are patiently slugging it out with the devils of "THE FUTURE". you seem to be winning. things seem to look good. and then WHAM! "THE FUTURE" gives you a powerful uppercut on the chin, and you are down on your butt on the canvass with the referee giving you the count. you are dazed. you are confused. but you have to get up. you just can't give up. you can't wimp out. it all seems so pointless, but you have no choice.
so you get up off your ass and slug it out again. and it goes on, and on. it's a cruel cycle.
can you blame me then, or anyone else for that matter, if i spend a few moments of my time dreaming that i was a kid again? if only life were as clean and simple as an episode of the turtles, where you KNOW the good guys always win against the bad guys at the end of this week's episode.
but life is not that way. and to grow up is to realize that life is not that way. you just have to swallow it if you are to survive. at times i despair over that fact. makes me want my innocence back.
in his poem "ode on a distant prospect of eton college", thomas grey lamented:
"yet ah! why should they know their fate?
since sorrow never comes too late
and happiness too swiftly flies
thought would destroy their paradise
no more; where ignorance is bliss
'tis folly to be wise."
ahh... the dillema, between sorrowful wisdom and ignorant bliss. but we cannot remain ignorant and innocent forever. either we open our eyes, or our eyes are forced open. but every once in a while, i close my eyes for a moment and pretend that i was kid again, that everything would be alright after this week's episode. then i open my eyes again, and, re-energized, i continue my struggle with "THE FUTURE".
bring it on...
Friday, October 13, 2006
overheard at the mall
girl holding her celfone, to one of her girl companions, in that whiney kris aquino tone:
"jen, do you know how to pangita the signal?"
HOOOLY CRAP. what is happening to the world? and what kind of mutant language was THAT? how should we call it? bislish? or engsaya? call me whatever it is you want to call me, but the day everybody in cebu speaks like kris aquino is the day i pack my bags and leave for the mountains.
madness, i tell you...
"jen, do you know how to pangita the signal?"
HOOOLY CRAP. what is happening to the world? and what kind of mutant language was THAT? how should we call it? bislish? or engsaya? call me whatever it is you want to call me, but the day everybody in cebu speaks like kris aquino is the day i pack my bags and leave for the mountains.
madness, i tell you...
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
life thus far
24. the number of hours in a day. the number of seats in the philippine senate. the title of one of my favorite tv shows. michael jordan's number + 1. kobe bryant's new number (though i am certainly NO FAN of kobe bryant. he has the ego of a michael jordan, but none of the leadership skills to show for it. AND he has to thank shaq for his championship rings). and today, the 4th of october, also happens to be the day i'll turn 24.
with birthdays come the expected rituals of celebration. friends have been holding a countdown the last few days, anticipating a night out over the next weekend with everything on me, maybe with a couple of drinks (birthdays being a good excuse to get drunk). officemates will probably expect a little something too (actually no... not a little...). then the usual dinner out with family.
but birthdays for me have always been marked by anxiety. i usually await their coming with dread. aside from the demands on the pocket (which is painful enough by itself, really), there is also all the unwanted attention. i consider myself a shy person. i am uncomfortable being in groups of people numbering 2 and above, the feeling not unlike what a dressed chicken would feel inside an oven. and when everybody's attention is on ME, it's like turning the oven's temperature on high heat. the result: toasted kenneth. not very appetizing, no?
with all the discomfort i'm getting, me wonders if it's all worth celebrating. so time to look back to the year that's passed and ask the question: how has life been so far?
[pause a few moments for thinking]
it's been fine, i guess. not what i would consider fabulous, just plain fine.
i've got a job that actually pays ok, for my age. although it COULD be bigger, if i had the balls to actually look for work somewhere else and then demand a higher salary. this tried and tested technique has already been employed by several colleagues of mine, with great results. but the fact that i DO have a job is something i should be thankful for, if i think about the Philippine's unemployment rate.
the weird thing about my job is that it cycles through 2 phases, either of extreme boredom (enough to make me think of resigning) or of extreme frustration (also enough to make me think of resigning). i'm currently in the boring phase. i can sleep through the whole day and not miss anything. but when it starts shifting to the extreme frustration phase, the resulting headaches are enough to make me want to jump off from the top floor of our building. fortunately, none of those episodes have actually made me jump off the building (not yet at least), which leaves me here alive to inflict my ramblings upon you my loyal readers. and ironically, both phases have not yet made me resign.
that said, i've lost my passion for the job. i just see it as something to occupy my time and scratch a living from. i used to love it before. i loved the sense of being part of a team setting out on some great project. i loved the challenge of it. i loved the sense of pride and accomplishment upon seeing my efforts bear fruit, and then saying to myself, it is good. but for every passing second i spend in my cubicle, all that passion is slowly trickling down the dustbin. i am burning myself out.
and i seem to have reached this point where i no longer have the opportunity to screw up. it's like everything i'm doing right now is make or break. and the thing is, i have not even figured out yet what to do with my life (or what's left of it). I AM STUMPED. next thing i know, i'm already 30 and i STILL don't know what to do... assuming that i reach that age.
evident in the last paragraph, i also have this feeling that i'm not going to live very long. no, i'm not dying. and no karen, i do NOT have a deathwish. but basing on the number trips i've had to the hospital recently, i'm not what you would call healthy either. from what i've been through, all i can say is there are things that just lay beyond our control. yeah, we'd all like to tell ourselves that our destiny is in our hands, but let's face it. we can't control everything. i am not God. and neither are you. it reminds me of the late cebu city councilor and dermatologist, dr. fe mantua-ruiz, who died a couple of months ago, i think. according to the papers, she lived a healthy lifestyle. she exercised everyday. she didn't smoke. but what did she die of? lung cancer. the universe has a really weird sense of humor.
on other matters, i do not yet have as of now a "love life". which is not necessarily a bad thing, considering the hell i've seen some people go through. better not bother myself with that yet.
much to my annoyance, my mom's friends have all been telling me that i should be getting married already, and then have lots of children. me? married? hmmm... i see their sons and daughters (who are also around my age), getting married pretty early, carrying their little babies with them when i see them in church, and slaving away at their jobs to buy milk and diapers. i sure don't find them particularly happy. no... i think i'll stay single for a while longer. i'm still enjoying life as a 24 year old kid.
the conclusion? life's really not that bad. but it's not exactly good either. it could be worse, thought that's not something i can be happy about.
happy birthday to me.
with birthdays come the expected rituals of celebration. friends have been holding a countdown the last few days, anticipating a night out over the next weekend with everything on me, maybe with a couple of drinks (birthdays being a good excuse to get drunk). officemates will probably expect a little something too (actually no... not a little...). then the usual dinner out with family.
but birthdays for me have always been marked by anxiety. i usually await their coming with dread. aside from the demands on the pocket (which is painful enough by itself, really), there is also all the unwanted attention. i consider myself a shy person. i am uncomfortable being in groups of people numbering 2 and above, the feeling not unlike what a dressed chicken would feel inside an oven. and when everybody's attention is on ME, it's like turning the oven's temperature on high heat. the result: toasted kenneth. not very appetizing, no?
with all the discomfort i'm getting, me wonders if it's all worth celebrating. so time to look back to the year that's passed and ask the question: how has life been so far?
[pause a few moments for thinking]
it's been fine, i guess. not what i would consider fabulous, just plain fine.
i've got a job that actually pays ok, for my age. although it COULD be bigger, if i had the balls to actually look for work somewhere else and then demand a higher salary. this tried and tested technique has already been employed by several colleagues of mine, with great results. but the fact that i DO have a job is something i should be thankful for, if i think about the Philippine's unemployment rate.
the weird thing about my job is that it cycles through 2 phases, either of extreme boredom (enough to make me think of resigning) or of extreme frustration (also enough to make me think of resigning). i'm currently in the boring phase. i can sleep through the whole day and not miss anything. but when it starts shifting to the extreme frustration phase, the resulting headaches are enough to make me want to jump off from the top floor of our building. fortunately, none of those episodes have actually made me jump off the building (not yet at least), which leaves me here alive to inflict my ramblings upon you my loyal readers. and ironically, both phases have not yet made me resign.
that said, i've lost my passion for the job. i just see it as something to occupy my time and scratch a living from. i used to love it before. i loved the sense of being part of a team setting out on some great project. i loved the challenge of it. i loved the sense of pride and accomplishment upon seeing my efforts bear fruit, and then saying to myself, it is good. but for every passing second i spend in my cubicle, all that passion is slowly trickling down the dustbin. i am burning myself out.
and i seem to have reached this point where i no longer have the opportunity to screw up. it's like everything i'm doing right now is make or break. and the thing is, i have not even figured out yet what to do with my life (or what's left of it). I AM STUMPED. next thing i know, i'm already 30 and i STILL don't know what to do... assuming that i reach that age.
evident in the last paragraph, i also have this feeling that i'm not going to live very long. no, i'm not dying. and no karen, i do NOT have a deathwish. but basing on the number trips i've had to the hospital recently, i'm not what you would call healthy either. from what i've been through, all i can say is there are things that just lay beyond our control. yeah, we'd all like to tell ourselves that our destiny is in our hands, but let's face it. we can't control everything. i am not God. and neither are you. it reminds me of the late cebu city councilor and dermatologist, dr. fe mantua-ruiz, who died a couple of months ago, i think. according to the papers, she lived a healthy lifestyle. she exercised everyday. she didn't smoke. but what did she die of? lung cancer. the universe has a really weird sense of humor.
on other matters, i do not yet have as of now a "love life". which is not necessarily a bad thing, considering the hell i've seen some people go through. better not bother myself with that yet.
much to my annoyance, my mom's friends have all been telling me that i should be getting married already, and then have lots of children. me? married? hmmm... i see their sons and daughters (who are also around my age), getting married pretty early, carrying their little babies with them when i see them in church, and slaving away at their jobs to buy milk and diapers. i sure don't find them particularly happy. no... i think i'll stay single for a while longer. i'm still enjoying life as a 24 year old kid.
the conclusion? life's really not that bad. but it's not exactly good either. it could be worse, thought that's not something i can be happy about.
happy birthday to me.
Friday, September 29, 2006
the adventures of screw up boy - day 2
saturday started peacefully. i should have known it was a bad omen, like the proverbial calm before the storm. the morning was spent chilling out, doing the usual morning rituals, packing up our luggage, and then gambling our change away with a card game they called "in between". seemed like everyone else in the group were experienced gamblers, and i stood out innocently like a sore thumb.
manong boy, our driver, arrived to pick us up at around noon. after taking some souvenir pictures at the hotel, we hit the road. cruising on the highway, we had a nice view of mt. makiling, and i remembered boss joseph saying something about how nice it would be if we also did some trekking there, ignorant of the coming hell. that should have been omen number 2.
i asked the guys what would be our next activity on the list. they said we'd do some trekking on taal. hmmm... trekking. suddenly my spider sense went on high alert. aside from a fear of flying, i also have a fear of heights AND deep water. plus, i don't know how to swim. uh-oh, i thought, doesn't that involve climbing AND riding a boat across taal lake?
i took a good look at everybody. ok... guys' hair all gelled up and spiky, girls wearing those stylish blouses and sandals, the air thick with their cologne. we looked like we were going to THE MALL. ok... maybe... it's just a short leisurely walk then, i thought, maybe on a paved path to the peak of taal where we can admire a magnificent view of the crater and reflect upon the grandeur of nature. i was starting to delude myself. self delusion is one of my psychological defense mechanisms.
after a pitstop for lunch along the highway, we continued the journey. the road was getting noticeably inclined now, as my ears started popping to adjust to the air pressure. then the big road sign: tagaytay.
so this is tagaytay, i thought. i was expecting it to look like baguio. but from what i saw, it looked more like bukidnon. there were so many pineapples and pineapple plantations... well i think they were pineapples. and then there it was, that familiar image found in postcards and wow philippines ads, taal volcano.
we hired the services of a boatman standing at the side of the road waiting for passengers. after some bargaining, manong boy got us a lower price for the boatman's services, and we followed him down to the lake for the boat.
what we saw when we arrived at the shore of taal lake did not calm my nerves. the water was rough, thanks to the strong wind. my spider sense was saying: "turn around and lock yourself up in the van. NOW." but my pride was saying: "boy, are you a wimp, or ARE YOU A WIMP?" so with those thoughts, i considered my predicament. everybody was going. the girls didn't seem to be scared. i'm doomed.
so with some trepidation, i got into the boat, and we experienced a ride that beat all the attractions at enchanted kingdom. maybe i should've tried their water rides after all, so i can get some practice before going on this one. with huge waves and strong winds blasting our little boat, i held on to anything secure for dear life, worried of the headline that might come out on the papers the next day if i didn't: "SUICIDAL TOURIST FROM CEBU DROWNS IN TAAL LAKE". the shame...
after about 40 minutes of having our intestines pureed, we finally got back on terra firma. the taal island welcoming comittee was composed of a whole barangay of hustlers, demanding from us gullible tourists various fees here and there. there was the entrance fee (per head) and a ridiculous parking fee for the boat. they also tried scaring us into renting their horses, telling us how far and difficult the path would be to the top. that would have cost us an also ridiculous P500 per horse. we did not take them up on that offer. and of course, there was the fee for our guide, which at P500 made the whole thing look like extortion. are they kidding? P500 just for a walk up and down the mountain? anything to squeeze the money from our pockets. i hope you hustlers are reading this blog and feel ashamed of yourselves.
aside from the hustlers, we were also welcomed by a strong smell of shit. horse shit to be exact, with all the horses on the island. the place was littered everywhere with it, that they can also call taal horse shit island. and with these two things will i always fondly remember taal with.
after paying all the fees and getting a guide, we trudge up to the crater of the volcano. on the way we were met by tourists on horseback on the way down. they all had this constipated look plastered on their faces, which made me doubt if the trek was worth all the trouble.
turns out we didn't really need the guide. as long as we followed the trail of horse shit, we were fine. the final stretch going up was tough though, as the incline was pretty steep and the path's loose sandy soil did not give very good traction to our shoes. after about 45 minutes of trekking torture, we finally reach the crater.
let's see... how do i describe taal volcano. it was nice, i guess. something you don't see everyday. you can still see smoke rising from the sides of the crater, a sign that the volcano is still active.
i did not enjoy the view very much though, as the thought that kept going through my mind was: "oh f*ck, how do i get out of here alive?!". it did not help me remembering the fact that the british mountaineer george leigh mallory died on his expedition to mt. everest GOING DOWN.
we looked at the time. it was 3:30. the last thing we wanted to do was to wobble our way down the path in total darkness, so after a final session of picture taking, we decided to go down. ok, i thought, now i'm screwed.
and then, i see it, my only means of escape. a big horse was lazily flicking flies away with his tail. a ray of light hit the blessed creature, as if heaven was saying, "here is your path to salvation." hallelujah! i'm saved! i was about to jump for joy at the sight when suddenly, it urinated. the horse shot its pee to the ground like a fire hose, that given a few more hours, it may have been possible for the horse to engulf the whole island in its own pee. i didn't know which was worse, to have myself impaled down the side of the mountain or to drown in the horse's pee.
i asked the guide how much for the horse. he said P200. P200!? why you bloody cutthroats! stuck between paying for a ridiculously priced horse ride and getting back to the boat in one piece, i grudgingly chose the latter. so i hauled my butt on the saddle and went ahead of the group.
what can i say about riding a horse... well... it was a literal pain in the ass. no wonder those horse riding tourists we encountered on the way up all had that constipated look, their butts were in pain. constipation and horse back riding... same thing really. you'd actually need metal balls and cast iron butts to be able to ride these horses. these locals must be mutants.
struggling with my balance, i tried doing a little interview with the guy guiding my horse. but he wasn't so interested in a little chitchat, so i contented myself to chatting with the horse and the occasional bird gliding above me. hello horse, how's life treating you? you be careful now, we wouldn't want to fall down the side of the cliff would we? if you take me down safely, i could give your master a tip so he could buy you some more hay. wouldn't that be nice? hello bird, how are you today? and how are you and mrs. bird, still going strong? and the kids? so on and so forth...
my butt in pain, i finally return to the little village at the foot of the volcano, where i was regaled by an old woman with her story on how she escaped the 1968 explosion of taal. as to why they still choose to live here with the possibility of another explosion, i have no idea. maybe the locals just like living on the edge. or they must have some sort of death wish. how... existential.
the rest of the group finally arrive, and we get back to our boat. good thing the return trip was no longer as hellish, the winds having calmed a bit.
our shoes also acquired a nice new shade of brown. in case crayola decides adding it to its collection of colors, boss joseph suggests calling it "volcanic brown". i suggest "horse shit brown".
so we got back to our van on the mainland, went up to tagaytay for dinner, got stuck on saturday night traffic on the highway, and then, to our hotel in makati.
the moral of the story? NEVER EVER ignore your spider sense again.
###########################
some of the pictures courtesy of roy
manong boy, our driver, arrived to pick us up at around noon. after taking some souvenir pictures at the hotel, we hit the road. cruising on the highway, we had a nice view of mt. makiling, and i remembered boss joseph saying something about how nice it would be if we also did some trekking there, ignorant of the coming hell. that should have been omen number 2.
i asked the guys what would be our next activity on the list. they said we'd do some trekking on taal. hmmm... trekking. suddenly my spider sense went on high alert. aside from a fear of flying, i also have a fear of heights AND deep water. plus, i don't know how to swim. uh-oh, i thought, doesn't that involve climbing AND riding a boat across taal lake?
i took a good look at everybody. ok... guys' hair all gelled up and spiky, girls wearing those stylish blouses and sandals, the air thick with their cologne. we looked like we were going to THE MALL. ok... maybe... it's just a short leisurely walk then, i thought, maybe on a paved path to the peak of taal where we can admire a magnificent view of the crater and reflect upon the grandeur of nature. i was starting to delude myself. self delusion is one of my psychological defense mechanisms.
after a pitstop for lunch along the highway, we continued the journey. the road was getting noticeably inclined now, as my ears started popping to adjust to the air pressure. then the big road sign: tagaytay.
so this is tagaytay, i thought. i was expecting it to look like baguio. but from what i saw, it looked more like bukidnon. there were so many pineapples and pineapple plantations... well i think they were pineapples. and then there it was, that familiar image found in postcards and wow philippines ads, taal volcano.
we hired the services of a boatman standing at the side of the road waiting for passengers. after some bargaining, manong boy got us a lower price for the boatman's services, and we followed him down to the lake for the boat.
what we saw when we arrived at the shore of taal lake did not calm my nerves. the water was rough, thanks to the strong wind. my spider sense was saying: "turn around and lock yourself up in the van. NOW." but my pride was saying: "boy, are you a wimp, or ARE YOU A WIMP?" so with those thoughts, i considered my predicament. everybody was going. the girls didn't seem to be scared. i'm doomed.
so with some trepidation, i got into the boat, and we experienced a ride that beat all the attractions at enchanted kingdom. maybe i should've tried their water rides after all, so i can get some practice before going on this one. with huge waves and strong winds blasting our little boat, i held on to anything secure for dear life, worried of the headline that might come out on the papers the next day if i didn't: "SUICIDAL TOURIST FROM CEBU DROWNS IN TAAL LAKE". the shame...
after about 40 minutes of having our intestines pureed, we finally got back on terra firma. the taal island welcoming comittee was composed of a whole barangay of hustlers, demanding from us gullible tourists various fees here and there. there was the entrance fee (per head) and a ridiculous parking fee for the boat. they also tried scaring us into renting their horses, telling us how far and difficult the path would be to the top. that would have cost us an also ridiculous P500 per horse. we did not take them up on that offer. and of course, there was the fee for our guide, which at P500 made the whole thing look like extortion. are they kidding? P500 just for a walk up and down the mountain? anything to squeeze the money from our pockets. i hope you hustlers are reading this blog and feel ashamed of yourselves.
aside from the hustlers, we were also welcomed by a strong smell of shit. horse shit to be exact, with all the horses on the island. the place was littered everywhere with it, that they can also call taal horse shit island. and with these two things will i always fondly remember taal with.
after paying all the fees and getting a guide, we trudge up to the crater of the volcano. on the way we were met by tourists on horseback on the way down. they all had this constipated look plastered on their faces, which made me doubt if the trek was worth all the trouble.
turns out we didn't really need the guide. as long as we followed the trail of horse shit, we were fine. the final stretch going up was tough though, as the incline was pretty steep and the path's loose sandy soil did not give very good traction to our shoes. after about 45 minutes of trekking torture, we finally reach the crater.
let's see... how do i describe taal volcano. it was nice, i guess. something you don't see everyday. you can still see smoke rising from the sides of the crater, a sign that the volcano is still active.
i did not enjoy the view very much though, as the thought that kept going through my mind was: "oh f*ck, how do i get out of here alive?!". it did not help me remembering the fact that the british mountaineer george leigh mallory died on his expedition to mt. everest GOING DOWN.
we looked at the time. it was 3:30. the last thing we wanted to do was to wobble our way down the path in total darkness, so after a final session of picture taking, we decided to go down. ok, i thought, now i'm screwed.
and then, i see it, my only means of escape. a big horse was lazily flicking flies away with his tail. a ray of light hit the blessed creature, as if heaven was saying, "here is your path to salvation." hallelujah! i'm saved! i was about to jump for joy at the sight when suddenly, it urinated. the horse shot its pee to the ground like a fire hose, that given a few more hours, it may have been possible for the horse to engulf the whole island in its own pee. i didn't know which was worse, to have myself impaled down the side of the mountain or to drown in the horse's pee.
i asked the guide how much for the horse. he said P200. P200!? why you bloody cutthroats! stuck between paying for a ridiculously priced horse ride and getting back to the boat in one piece, i grudgingly chose the latter. so i hauled my butt on the saddle and went ahead of the group.
what can i say about riding a horse... well... it was a literal pain in the ass. no wonder those horse riding tourists we encountered on the way up all had that constipated look, their butts were in pain. constipation and horse back riding... same thing really. you'd actually need metal balls and cast iron butts to be able to ride these horses. these locals must be mutants.
struggling with my balance, i tried doing a little interview with the guy guiding my horse. but he wasn't so interested in a little chitchat, so i contented myself to chatting with the horse and the occasional bird gliding above me. hello horse, how's life treating you? you be careful now, we wouldn't want to fall down the side of the cliff would we? if you take me down safely, i could give your master a tip so he could buy you some more hay. wouldn't that be nice? hello bird, how are you today? and how are you and mrs. bird, still going strong? and the kids? so on and so forth...
my butt in pain, i finally return to the little village at the foot of the volcano, where i was regaled by an old woman with her story on how she escaped the 1968 explosion of taal. as to why they still choose to live here with the possibility of another explosion, i have no idea. maybe the locals just like living on the edge. or they must have some sort of death wish. how... existential.
the rest of the group finally arrive, and we get back to our boat. good thing the return trip was no longer as hellish, the winds having calmed a bit.
our shoes also acquired a nice new shade of brown. in case crayola decides adding it to its collection of colors, boss joseph suggests calling it "volcanic brown". i suggest "horse shit brown".
so we got back to our van on the mainland, went up to tagaytay for dinner, got stuck on saturday night traffic on the highway, and then, to our hotel in makati.
the moral of the story? NEVER EVER ignore your spider sense again.
###########################
some of the pictures courtesy of roy
Monday, September 04, 2006
the adventures of screw up boy - day 1
i dreamt that an earthquake was shaking my bed. but i wake up and discover that it was just my mother shaking me out of dreamland. "i thought you were supposed to wake up earlier?" i look at the time. 4 am. my flight's departure time was 6:40 am, but i hadn't finished packing the previous night, so i had to set my cellphone alarm to 2 am. hmmm... 4 am. then it dawns on me... 4 am?! oh sh*t! oh sh*t! oh sh*t! i slept through the alarm! sirens soon start shrieking in my head, and the horrible thought of being left behind jolts me awake. so i get out of bed, finish packing, take a bath, eat breakfast, and dress up, all in warp speed. when i get to the airport, i find that i'm the first one of our group to arrive. ok... that's what i get for being too panicky...
i have this slight fear of flying, so the night before i made some small preparations in the extreme event (God forbid) that our plane would crash. after check in, our group proceeded to the boarding area, and the first thing i planned to do upon getting there was to take a look at the plane we were boarding too see how big it was, since i have this (possibly erroneous) opinion of smaller planes being more prone to crashes. after a few minutes waiting, the plane arrives and comes into view. what i saw did not reassure me. it was a small plane. i started confessing my sins before God, just in case.
my travel mates, from left to right, roy a.k.a. "the siomai man", boss joseph a.k.a. "the high roller", jess, guia, eisel, kay, stephen, and kristine, who happens to suffer from an unusual case of ornithophobia (fear of birds), unless the bird is deep fried and crispy. that's me at the back of the camera.
to my relief, take off was relatively smooth. i kept looking out the window, marveling at the view of cebu city hundreds of feet up in the sky and taking pictures of the sky, which may have bothered kay a bit, who was my seatmate on the window seat since i was in the middle seat between her and boss joseph. but hey, i thought, i only get to ride an airplane very very rarely, so i was going to enjoy the experience as much as i can while i was there. sorry ms. kay...
looking at the skies, i wondered at how ironic it was for man, a creature not having the wings of birds, the speed of horses, and the strength of elephants, to have conquered the skies. but it also occurs to me that no matter how high up the sky our metal wings may take us (and our egos), in the end gravity always wins. i am sobered up by the thought.
we were already over manila when the pilot goes on speakers apologizing that our landing would be delayed. before that we noticed that the plane had to do a couple of turns in the sky. it must have been a busy day at the airport.
the sound of the plane's landing gear making contact with the runway soon reach my ears, and a wave of relief comes over me, like a death row inmate given a last minute commutation of his sentence. finally, back on terra firma! and still alive!
as the plane taxies its way to the terminal, we pass by one of the great monuments to the corruption and ineptitude of philippine government, the naia terminal 3. the terminal was so huge, that by my estimate it could have doubled naia's current capacity. it's a shame that the bidding process for the terminal was downright dirty and crooked. nothing much i can do but shake my head.
after a couple of minutes waiting, we finally get off the plane and walk to the terminal. the naia terminal handling cebu pacific's domestic flights was the most technologically advanced airport terminal in the world... 50 years ago. it looked pretty crummy and old, especially if you compare it to the newer, bigger terminal for philippine airline's domestic flights. i was half expecting to meet a dinosaur when we entered the terminal. only shows how much influence lucio tan, or more precisely, lucio tan's money, has over government.
we spend the next few hours going around metro manila, to confirm the reservations we made for our hotel and also to deliver some of my travel mates' obligatory pasalubong, which being from cebu, is traditionally composed of dried danggit, dried pusit, and dried mangoes. cebuanos seem to have knack for drying things. i wonder why.
eventually we reach the steel, glass, and concrete forests of makati. as our van fought its way through this part of the urban jungle, i stared like any probinsyano would at the modern buildings, the skyscrapers, and the general rush and bustle of the business district, all of which led me to wonder if we had not gotten on the wrong flight. "are we still in the philippines?", i thought. all those visible signs of great wealth in this tiny piece of the philippines only seem to prove the statement that "10% of the population owns 90% of the wealth". how true.
and everywhere you turn your head, you always seem to find chicks in makati. hmmm... makati is where the money is, and there are many chicks in makati. there must be a certain correlation between chicks and money. either money attracts the chicks, or chicks attract the money, or both attract each other. but why makati? why not cebu? lucky makati... chicks and money... that's a NICE combination.
we soon switch vans and head out to the first place in our itinerary, enchanted kingdom. as our van cruised along the south express way, i marvel at the impressive network of roads, bridges, overpasses, railways, and highways leading in and out of manila. no wonder the provinces feel left out and grumble about "imperial manila". all the development is right there.
after more than an hour on the road, we finally reach enchanted kingdom. the first thing i notice was the line of buses in the parking lot, which to me did not seem like a good thing. after the customary pictures at the gate, we buy our tickets (at a very painful P400 each) and enter, expecting to have good time.
turns out i was right about the buses, the place was crawling with school children. we couldn't ride the bumper cars as much as we would have wanted to with all those kids in line. but of course, enchanted kingdom isn't limited to bumper cars. there's the usual carousel, which is one of the customary places for a photo op at enchanted kingdom, and the ferris wheel, which they called "the wheel of fate". how... philosophical. maybe it was supposed to remind us of our ultimate "fate" while our gondola reached the peak of the ferris wheel. memento mori? maybe...
then there's the "roller skater", a.k.a. the caterpillar when sm city cebu still had an amusement park. it's basically a smaller and milder version of the roller coaster. it was fun, if you enjoy being flung around in the air, and yet not enough to be scary. but if you do feel scared, here's a tip: Shout. it actually helps drive away the jitters.
if you want to know how it feels like to be a pendulum inside a grandfather's clock, there's "anchors away". it's basically a pendulum shaped like ship. to achieve maximum effect the rider should be seated at the either end of the ride. you will get this sensation as if you're floating in the air while the ride swings you upwards, and as a side effect (for guys) you will also feel your balls retreat toward your intestines as your scrotum disappears. here's another tip: so as to not embarass yourself in front of the ladies, especially when they're seated right across you in this ride, try shouting as if you're actually ENJOYING the ride. luckily for boss joseph, there were no ladies at our first go on this one, or he would have embarassed himself.
if you want to get an idea of an astronaut's training regimen, i suggest the "space shuttle", which is THE ride in enchanted kingdom. it's a roller coaster where you'll go round 360 degrees twice going forward, then you go through the same circuit again backward. the going forward part was fine, but going backward resulted in THE worst amusement park experience of my life. i literally had my breath sucked out of me, that i could barely walk when i got out. another friendly piece of advice: if you don't want to risk having yourself taken to the first aid station and humiliated in front of your friends while trying to get your senses back in order, i suggest you skip this one. TRUST ME. i've been there.
for a movie experience that goes beyond sight and sound, there's the "4d discovery theater". the movie (which was basically a ghost story) is shown in 3d, and as it progresses you can actually feel the blood spatter as a head gets chopped off, a gust of wind on your face as a murder of crows fly toward you, and the impact of a falling body as it hits the ground. the seats even have a massage chair function, which i think makes the extra P40 admission worth it.
another attraction was the rialto. it's basically a movie theater with moving seats to simulate the motion shown by the movie. i suggest you try this out first before going to the "4d discovery theater" so you won't get out of it as disappointed as we were. if not for the moving chair, i would have slept through the whole thing. but as it turns out, the REAL attraction in the rialto was not the movie, it was the rialto girls. oh yeah...
as a sidenote, the music video for the barbie's cradle song money for food was taken in this section of enchanted kingdom. what made that music video stand out was that it was taken in one long continuous shot from beginning to end. you can almost see the members of the band run toward the back of the camera to change costumes as the camera shifts from one scene to the next. plus, i also liked the song. and the band. and barbie. too bad they already disbanded.
i did not try any of the water rides, as getting myself soaking wet was not part of my definition of having a good time.
we got out of enchanted kingdom pretty happy with the experience. the P400 entrance may have been painful, but it sure was worth it, thanks to the rialto girls.
ticket to enchanted kingdom... P400
admission to 4d discovery theater... P40
a hamburger and a large tumbler of pepsi... P90
a picture with the rialto girls... priceless
boss joseph said something interesting as we got out. he said he was happy with the experience because, according to him, he entered the park not expecting much. hmmm... boss joseph may have found the secret path to happiness that men through the ages have been searching for: lowered expectations.
on the way to our hotel in laguna, our van got stuck in some heavy friday night traffic at the south super highway. waiting for it to clear up, i looked back at the experience and wondered why we find having ourselves flung around in the air so much fun. when you try to think about it, it doesn't really make sense, no? after giving it some more thought, i posited that it must have something to do with the way our brain gets shaken as we get thrown about here and there. all that motion may result in the loosening of some screws holding the brain together. sounds logical...
our hotel in laguna was a little hot spring resort located at the foot of mt. makiling. we get there after about 2 hours on the road, tired, hungry, and stinking. so after checking in we had dinner, i took a shower, and went back to dreamland.
next stop, taal.
i have this slight fear of flying, so the night before i made some small preparations in the extreme event (God forbid) that our plane would crash. after check in, our group proceeded to the boarding area, and the first thing i planned to do upon getting there was to take a look at the plane we were boarding too see how big it was, since i have this (possibly erroneous) opinion of smaller planes being more prone to crashes. after a few minutes waiting, the plane arrives and comes into view. what i saw did not reassure me. it was a small plane. i started confessing my sins before God, just in case.
my travel mates, from left to right, roy a.k.a. "the siomai man", boss joseph a.k.a. "the high roller", jess, guia, eisel, kay, stephen, and kristine, who happens to suffer from an unusual case of ornithophobia (fear of birds), unless the bird is deep fried and crispy. that's me at the back of the camera.
to my relief, take off was relatively smooth. i kept looking out the window, marveling at the view of cebu city hundreds of feet up in the sky and taking pictures of the sky, which may have bothered kay a bit, who was my seatmate on the window seat since i was in the middle seat between her and boss joseph. but hey, i thought, i only get to ride an airplane very very rarely, so i was going to enjoy the experience as much as i can while i was there. sorry ms. kay...
looking at the skies, i wondered at how ironic it was for man, a creature not having the wings of birds, the speed of horses, and the strength of elephants, to have conquered the skies. but it also occurs to me that no matter how high up the sky our metal wings may take us (and our egos), in the end gravity always wins. i am sobered up by the thought.
we were already over manila when the pilot goes on speakers apologizing that our landing would be delayed. before that we noticed that the plane had to do a couple of turns in the sky. it must have been a busy day at the airport.
the sound of the plane's landing gear making contact with the runway soon reach my ears, and a wave of relief comes over me, like a death row inmate given a last minute commutation of his sentence. finally, back on terra firma! and still alive!
as the plane taxies its way to the terminal, we pass by one of the great monuments to the corruption and ineptitude of philippine government, the naia terminal 3. the terminal was so huge, that by my estimate it could have doubled naia's current capacity. it's a shame that the bidding process for the terminal was downright dirty and crooked. nothing much i can do but shake my head.
after a couple of minutes waiting, we finally get off the plane and walk to the terminal. the naia terminal handling cebu pacific's domestic flights was the most technologically advanced airport terminal in the world... 50 years ago. it looked pretty crummy and old, especially if you compare it to the newer, bigger terminal for philippine airline's domestic flights. i was half expecting to meet a dinosaur when we entered the terminal. only shows how much influence lucio tan, or more precisely, lucio tan's money, has over government.
we spend the next few hours going around metro manila, to confirm the reservations we made for our hotel and also to deliver some of my travel mates' obligatory pasalubong, which being from cebu, is traditionally composed of dried danggit, dried pusit, and dried mangoes. cebuanos seem to have knack for drying things. i wonder why.
eventually we reach the steel, glass, and concrete forests of makati. as our van fought its way through this part of the urban jungle, i stared like any probinsyano would at the modern buildings, the skyscrapers, and the general rush and bustle of the business district, all of which led me to wonder if we had not gotten on the wrong flight. "are we still in the philippines?", i thought. all those visible signs of great wealth in this tiny piece of the philippines only seem to prove the statement that "10% of the population owns 90% of the wealth". how true.
and everywhere you turn your head, you always seem to find chicks in makati. hmmm... makati is where the money is, and there are many chicks in makati. there must be a certain correlation between chicks and money. either money attracts the chicks, or chicks attract the money, or both attract each other. but why makati? why not cebu? lucky makati... chicks and money... that's a NICE combination.
we soon switch vans and head out to the first place in our itinerary, enchanted kingdom. as our van cruised along the south express way, i marvel at the impressive network of roads, bridges, overpasses, railways, and highways leading in and out of manila. no wonder the provinces feel left out and grumble about "imperial manila". all the development is right there.
after more than an hour on the road, we finally reach enchanted kingdom. the first thing i notice was the line of buses in the parking lot, which to me did not seem like a good thing. after the customary pictures at the gate, we buy our tickets (at a very painful P400 each) and enter, expecting to have good time.
turns out i was right about the buses, the place was crawling with school children. we couldn't ride the bumper cars as much as we would have wanted to with all those kids in line. but of course, enchanted kingdom isn't limited to bumper cars. there's the usual carousel, which is one of the customary places for a photo op at enchanted kingdom, and the ferris wheel, which they called "the wheel of fate". how... philosophical. maybe it was supposed to remind us of our ultimate "fate" while our gondola reached the peak of the ferris wheel. memento mori? maybe...
then there's the "roller skater", a.k.a. the caterpillar when sm city cebu still had an amusement park. it's basically a smaller and milder version of the roller coaster. it was fun, if you enjoy being flung around in the air, and yet not enough to be scary. but if you do feel scared, here's a tip: Shout. it actually helps drive away the jitters.
if you want to know how it feels like to be a pendulum inside a grandfather's clock, there's "anchors away". it's basically a pendulum shaped like ship. to achieve maximum effect the rider should be seated at the either end of the ride. you will get this sensation as if you're floating in the air while the ride swings you upwards, and as a side effect (for guys) you will also feel your balls retreat toward your intestines as your scrotum disappears. here's another tip: so as to not embarass yourself in front of the ladies, especially when they're seated right across you in this ride, try shouting as if you're actually ENJOYING the ride. luckily for boss joseph, there were no ladies at our first go on this one, or he would have embarassed himself.
if you want to get an idea of an astronaut's training regimen, i suggest the "space shuttle", which is THE ride in enchanted kingdom. it's a roller coaster where you'll go round 360 degrees twice going forward, then you go through the same circuit again backward. the going forward part was fine, but going backward resulted in THE worst amusement park experience of my life. i literally had my breath sucked out of me, that i could barely walk when i got out. another friendly piece of advice: if you don't want to risk having yourself taken to the first aid station and humiliated in front of your friends while trying to get your senses back in order, i suggest you skip this one. TRUST ME. i've been there.
for a movie experience that goes beyond sight and sound, there's the "4d discovery theater". the movie (which was basically a ghost story) is shown in 3d, and as it progresses you can actually feel the blood spatter as a head gets chopped off, a gust of wind on your face as a murder of crows fly toward you, and the impact of a falling body as it hits the ground. the seats even have a massage chair function, which i think makes the extra P40 admission worth it.
another attraction was the rialto. it's basically a movie theater with moving seats to simulate the motion shown by the movie. i suggest you try this out first before going to the "4d discovery theater" so you won't get out of it as disappointed as we were. if not for the moving chair, i would have slept through the whole thing. but as it turns out, the REAL attraction in the rialto was not the movie, it was the rialto girls. oh yeah...
as a sidenote, the music video for the barbie's cradle song money for food was taken in this section of enchanted kingdom. what made that music video stand out was that it was taken in one long continuous shot from beginning to end. you can almost see the members of the band run toward the back of the camera to change costumes as the camera shifts from one scene to the next. plus, i also liked the song. and the band. and barbie. too bad they already disbanded.
i did not try any of the water rides, as getting myself soaking wet was not part of my definition of having a good time.
we got out of enchanted kingdom pretty happy with the experience. the P400 entrance may have been painful, but it sure was worth it, thanks to the rialto girls.
ticket to enchanted kingdom... P400
admission to 4d discovery theater... P40
a hamburger and a large tumbler of pepsi... P90
a picture with the rialto girls... priceless
boss joseph said something interesting as we got out. he said he was happy with the experience because, according to him, he entered the park not expecting much. hmmm... boss joseph may have found the secret path to happiness that men through the ages have been searching for: lowered expectations.
on the way to our hotel in laguna, our van got stuck in some heavy friday night traffic at the south super highway. waiting for it to clear up, i looked back at the experience and wondered why we find having ourselves flung around in the air so much fun. when you try to think about it, it doesn't really make sense, no? after giving it some more thought, i posited that it must have something to do with the way our brain gets shaken as we get thrown about here and there. all that motion may result in the loosening of some screws holding the brain together. sounds logical...
our hotel in laguna was a little hot spring resort located at the foot of mt. makiling. we get there after about 2 hours on the road, tired, hungry, and stinking. so after checking in we had dinner, i took a shower, and went back to dreamland.
next stop, taal.
Monday, August 14, 2006
the glory of defeat
what on earth were WE thinking? what on earth was I thinking? we were humiliated, annihilated, crushed, beaten, awed, humbled, blown away, ______, ______, ______, ...you can fill in the blanks. the table tennis tournament that me and some of my officemates joined can be succinctly described by one word: DISASTER. our team of 4 players did not win a single match, not even a single set. the field was simply too good for us. ironically, two of my teammates went out drinking the night before. drunk guy number one went home around 12 midnight, while drunk guy number two (who was supposed to be a top 10 table tennis player from japan) went home around 4 am. he even came in late on the morning of the tournament, still smelling of alcohol and wearing slacks and shoes that were so scruffy i wondered if he had to crawl his way home last night. player number 3 didn't even join the practice session last night because he went out on a date. so there we were, 4 guys who barely had any practice (actually... none...), 2 of us still nursing a hangover, ranged against the elite, the best of the best, of cebu's table tennis scene. no wonder. and what the hell went in to our heads that we joined the tournament thinking that we could actually win? overconfident or just plain delusional? maybe both. i'll just charge it to experience then. drunk guy number one actually had some words of wisdom distilled from the experience. he said that you can look at it 2 ways, either you become so discouraged that you stop playing table tennis altogether, or you use it as a reason to actually improve yourself in the game so in the next tournament you can at least give a decent showing, or maybe even win. so even though my ego was bruised, at least i came home with a lesson... and a free t-shirt.
Thursday, August 10, 2006
an ignoramus talks about art
after paying the electric bill in SM, i went straight to the neighboring art exhibit. it showcased some "abstract" paintings that i just did not get at all. you know, those types of pauntings that you look at while wondering to yourself what on earth the painter was trying to say. if the painter IS trying to say something, well... sorry mate, it just ain't going through. ironically, the group of artists doing the exhibit posted their mission statement together with their paintings, stating that visual art should not necesarily resemble the visible world, but it should be used as a record for one's thought's and feelings and transmit those thoughts and feelings to others via their "work of art". if that is their definition of art, then why do they have to make it so hard for ordinary folks like me to understand what they're saying? if i may speculate on their creative process, it's as if they just take an empty canvass, splash some paint here and there, then choose a deep word from the dictionary, say... solitude, call the painting that, and present it for exhibition. then we ordinary folks look at the painting, read its title, and then scratch our heads asking, what's the connection?
or is it just me?
or is it just me?
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
now why didn't my mom teach ME that?
overheard while strolling at the mall:
father, to his two little sons: "dali palitan ta mo ug donut. pila kabuok inyo gusto?" (hey, i'll buy you guys some donuts. how many do you want?)
older boy: "ay, isa lang... para di modako ako tiyan..." (just one, so my tummy won't grow large...)
smaller boy, nodding while jumping up and down: "bitaw... bitaw... bitaw..." (yup... yup... yup...)
hmmm... health conscious kids... THAT'S something new... now why didn't my mom teach ME that?
father, to his two little sons: "dali palitan ta mo ug donut. pila kabuok inyo gusto?" (hey, i'll buy you guys some donuts. how many do you want?)
older boy: "ay, isa lang... para di modako ako tiyan..." (just one, so my tummy won't grow large...)
smaller boy, nodding while jumping up and down: "bitaw... bitaw... bitaw..." (yup... yup... yup...)
hmmm... health conscious kids... THAT'S something new... now why didn't my mom teach ME that?
Monday, July 24, 2006
state of the nation addresses
everybody from gloria macapagal arroyo, to opposition politicians, street rallyists, newspaper columnists, and even the deposed president estrada will all be delivering their versions of the state of the nation address today. incidentally, the tropical storm now ravaging luzon was originally named gloria. how appropriate.
Monday, July 10, 2006
of blackholes and trains
on those afternoon breaktimes
we'd sit and talk
she'd speak of paths
i both long and fear to walk
she used to speak of blackholes
of failed relationships
where a star once existed
is now a void
pulling all matter, even life
pulling all joy, even light
from the expanses of her universe
i sat quietly
as i contemplated the weight of her words
each syllable heavy with sorrow
over happy times that now seem borrowed
i wondered what could stop
each drop of those tears
but all i had
to give was my ears
so listen to her i did
to each heartbreak that hid
the sunny days from her face
on those afternoon breaktimes
but now she speaks of different things
she sings, her words now
afloat with wings, high
upon the sky, to her castle
in the clouds wherein
reside her dreams
of chocolates and flowers
and happily-ever-afters
and here on the ground
my feet, my heart is bound
and i watch, wishing the wings
would grow too on my back
so i may fly
away from this lack, this black
empty railroad track
where i wait in vain, for this train
that never seems to come
we'd sit and talk
she'd speak of paths
i both long and fear to walk
she used to speak of blackholes
of failed relationships
where a star once existed
is now a void
pulling all matter, even life
pulling all joy, even light
from the expanses of her universe
i sat quietly
as i contemplated the weight of her words
each syllable heavy with sorrow
over happy times that now seem borrowed
i wondered what could stop
each drop of those tears
but all i had
to give was my ears
so listen to her i did
to each heartbreak that hid
the sunny days from her face
on those afternoon breaktimes
but now she speaks of different things
she sings, her words now
afloat with wings, high
upon the sky, to her castle
in the clouds wherein
reside her dreams
of chocolates and flowers
and happily-ever-afters
and here on the ground
my feet, my heart is bound
and i watch, wishing the wings
would grow too on my back
so i may fly
away from this lack, this black
empty railroad track
where i wait in vain, for this train
that never seems to come
Monday, July 03, 2006
what did you expect?
pacquiao wins over larios. not exactly surprising. you know what would be shocking news? if larios knocks pacquiao out on the first round. now THAT would be real news. everybody had already expected a pacquiao victory. pacquiao handlers were predicting a knockout in 6 rounds. eric morales also predicted pacquiao winning. even gamblers had a hard time trying to find someone who would put his bet on larios, so instead they did their betting on if pacquiao would be able to finish larios off before the 6th round or not.
yes, there were some nervous moments in the beginning of the 3rd round, but it was more a matter of overconfidence on pacquiao's part, i think. he just let his guard down, larios saw the opening and took advantage. this stunned manny for a few seconds and pushed him to the ropes, allowing larios to give pacquiao his own flurry of punches. but manny was still able to fight his way out of that fix, and the remaining rounds saw manny's domination till the end, plus two knock outs.
at the end of the match i had a feeling larios went into to this fight expecting to lose. he didn't fight to win, he just fought for the exposure and, of course, the money. but he did finish the match with his two feet on the canvass, so we should at least give him credit for that.
on other pacquiao related matters, he sure has a very unfortunate choice for nickname. other boxers have chosen names like el terible (morales), the golden boy (de la hoya), the flash (elorde), the bomb (jimrex jaca), the czar (amonsot), but pacman? like, that little moving yellow circle with a mouth you find in video games? remotely scary. i suggest a name change.
yes, there were some nervous moments in the beginning of the 3rd round, but it was more a matter of overconfidence on pacquiao's part, i think. he just let his guard down, larios saw the opening and took advantage. this stunned manny for a few seconds and pushed him to the ropes, allowing larios to give pacquiao his own flurry of punches. but manny was still able to fight his way out of that fix, and the remaining rounds saw manny's domination till the end, plus two knock outs.
at the end of the match i had a feeling larios went into to this fight expecting to lose. he didn't fight to win, he just fought for the exposure and, of course, the money. but he did finish the match with his two feet on the canvass, so we should at least give him credit for that.
on other pacquiao related matters, he sure has a very unfortunate choice for nickname. other boxers have chosen names like el terible (morales), the golden boy (de la hoya), the flash (elorde), the bomb (jimrex jaca), the czar (amonsot), but pacman? like, that little moving yellow circle with a mouth you find in video games? remotely scary. i suggest a name change.
Saturday, June 10, 2006
in a state of shock
Oh My God. a previous post of mine has seen print on both the philippine daily inquirer's youngblood section and sunstar cebu's weekend magazine on this very same day. the editors of both papers seem to be of the opinion that my words and opinions are worthy of taking space on each of their papers...
i... cannot... believe... it...
WOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
i... cannot... believe... it...
WOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
Friday, June 02, 2006
shitty
the world sure has a weird way of opening our eyes. i spent much of the past 2 weeks thinking about how shitty my life was when the world gives me a nice kick in the ass and whispers to my ear, "you want to know what shitty is boy? let me show show you what shitty is..."
the realization came to me on my jeepney ride to work this morning. the jeepney was almost full, so i took the first available seat i saw, which was beside a woman carrying a child. i wondered why the kid was unusually fidgety, until i turned my head and saw that he was victim of down syndrome (more commonly known as mongoloid). the sight first overcame me with surprise, and then pity.
as the jeepney sped on its route, i imagined how it would be in the shoes of either the kid or his mother.
imagine you being the kid himself. the forces of fate seems to be arrayed against you. you wonder why people keep looking at you in a weird way, a look of pity, or fear, or just a plain grossed out look on their faces. they look at you as if you were some alien, a creature of from another world.
imagine you being the mother of the kid. imagine carrying the child for 9 months and discovering your child's affliction just moments after a very painful and exhausting delivery. imagine knowing the hard road your child will soon have to tread. imagine sharing the sad load of your child's difficulties and sorrows.
while pity filled me, i also felt guilty about the sense of contentment i was bound to get from knowing their fate. how cruel fate seemed to them, as if they were given those sorrowful set of circumstances so they could be used to teach us ordinary people to be content, as if they were being used as examples for us common people, like criminals doomed to die by a cruel judge called fate.
but inspite of the sorrow, i also saw reasons for joy. the jeepney halted at a crossing, and the child stood still, looked up at his mother's eyes and smiled. the mother smiled back. remembering that sight simply made my day.
sometimes, it takes the shadows to make us see the sunshine.
the realization came to me on my jeepney ride to work this morning. the jeepney was almost full, so i took the first available seat i saw, which was beside a woman carrying a child. i wondered why the kid was unusually fidgety, until i turned my head and saw that he was victim of down syndrome (more commonly known as mongoloid). the sight first overcame me with surprise, and then pity.
as the jeepney sped on its route, i imagined how it would be in the shoes of either the kid or his mother.
imagine you being the kid himself. the forces of fate seems to be arrayed against you. you wonder why people keep looking at you in a weird way, a look of pity, or fear, or just a plain grossed out look on their faces. they look at you as if you were some alien, a creature of from another world.
imagine you being the mother of the kid. imagine carrying the child for 9 months and discovering your child's affliction just moments after a very painful and exhausting delivery. imagine knowing the hard road your child will soon have to tread. imagine sharing the sad load of your child's difficulties and sorrows.
while pity filled me, i also felt guilty about the sense of contentment i was bound to get from knowing their fate. how cruel fate seemed to them, as if they were given those sorrowful set of circumstances so they could be used to teach us ordinary people to be content, as if they were being used as examples for us common people, like criminals doomed to die by a cruel judge called fate.
but inspite of the sorrow, i also saw reasons for joy. the jeepney halted at a crossing, and the child stood still, looked up at his mother's eyes and smiled. the mother smiled back. remembering that sight simply made my day.
sometimes, it takes the shadows to make us see the sunshine.
Monday, May 15, 2006
the chronicles of a bum tummy
a bum tummy forced me to the hospital last thursday. i think it was a combination of not having eaten anything for breakfast because i had to go very early to the doctor, and then eating something bad for lunch. big mistake. by afternoon of thursday i was already puking my guts out. this lost me much of the fluids in my system that i became so dehydrated and my arms, legs, and abdomen started to go numb. the doctor said if i had lasted a bit longer in that state without having been taken to the hospital, i would have suffered kidney damage. panic started setting in. i was so weak physically that i didn't have an ounce of strength to stand up, and my officemates had to carry me out of the building and drive me to the hospital. humiliating experience. i have a bad feeling that everytime my officemates see me they'd think, "hey, that's the loser who puked his guts out and had to be taken to the hospital". oh, the horror.
when we reached the ER of chong hua hospital, it took their staff a full twenty minutes before they arranged a doctor to see me. twenty excruciating minutes. they had to take their sweet time just to make sure that i would be able to pay for the hospitalization. if i wasn't so weak i would have punched the nurse in the gut to make him feel just a tenth of the pain i had so he could get me a doctor quickly. the first thing their nurse asked when i got there was if i had insurance. insurance?! watdapak!!! i'm about to suffer kidney damage here and your asking for insurance?! ironically, the free calendar chong hua gives to admitted patients claims that chong hua was a "non-profit" organization. "non-profit" my ass. if chong hua is "non-profit" then gloria arroyo won the elections fair and square without cheating.
the ER people finally took me inside. one of the ER doctors comes up to me and starts asking me questions, what happened, how many times i vomited, when i started vomiting, what i had eaten, etc., while writing down her notes in an index card. after she finished her questioning she goes to a table at the back. a few minutes later another doctor comes up to me and asks the same set of questions. i thought, "what the hell do these people want to do to me, question me to death?" i had to point out to the new doctor that i had already been asked those questions just to make him shut up, which he mercifully did.
afterwards a nurse comes up to me to attach the needle for the IV fluid on my left hand. the nurse was in his late 20s, and he seemed to be an experienced nurse, so i thought, this shouldn't be that painful. but suddenly he calls out to the interns at the other side of the ER, then asks, "who of you wants to insert the needle?" "you have got to be kidding me...", i thought. unluckily for me, he wasn't. three young looking interns who seem to have just gotten out of puberty come up to me with very eager looks on their faces, as if they were looking at the frog they would be soon be dissecting in their anatomy class. the older nurse then gives the needle to one the interns, who seemed just a bit too excited, so i braced myself for the coming pain. the whole process lasted two very painful minutes. a friendly word of advise to you dear readers, if anyone of you is going to be admitted to a hospital, ask for a more experienced nurse to attach the IV needle. it'll save you from a lot of pain.
and i sure hope that that intern won't be taking what she learned from her anatomy lesson with me abroad. nurses and doctors leaving is the last thing this country needs. but if we also consider how poorly they're being paid here, can we actually blame them? and so, the current dillema.
i was finally taken to my hospital room in chong hua's new building. i have to give it to them, the new building was pretty impressive. it's very big and modern looking, you can actually see that a huge amount was spent for its construction. the new building's lobby looked like a hotel lobby.
my officemate turned ambulance driver nilo and our company nurse grace accompanied me for the night while they waited for my mother. it was already late when my mom arrived, but i was too exhausted from the pain to even talk so i slept through the whole night.
i woke up the next morning eager to see what shows were on cable tv. let's just say i was pretty grateful we didn't have cable tv installed at home. so many channels showing nothing else but crap. they didn't even have discovery channel, only its more boring counterpart, national geographic. there were the news channels (boring...), the sports channels showing a golf tournament (boring..), movie channels showing old or unknown movies (boring...), home shopping networks (getting sleepy...), chinese, indian, french, german channels (zzzzz...), business ads (snore...), and a crazy televangelist declaring that he is the second coming of Jesus Christ and asking for donations for their "kingdom" (you've got to be kidding...). the sports channels didn't even show a single game of the nba playoffs that day. i was starting to get convinced that universe was out to ruin my weekend.
good thing there was axn though, because they had the amazing race on at around noon. i'm rooting for the hippies bj and tyler to win, as they're more fun to watch than the other teams. they kinda' remind me of the clowns of amazing race 6 (or was it 5?). too bad those guys lost, it was weird seeing a grown up man who made everyone laugh just break down and cry on tv.
some officemates also came by to visit around lunchtime, which lifted my spirits a bit, although their visit also reminded me of the office party i was going to miss later that night. so much for the anticipation i had the whole week. i spent the rest of friday desperately trying to find a decent show to watch through all that crap on cable and wondering what everybody at the office was doing and how the party was going. it was purgatory on earth.
my doctor finally gave his discharge orders on the morning of saturday. it felt like a twenty year prison sentence was finally over. i was so happy to finally get out, stretch my legs, and breathe the polluted air of cebu city, considering that i was either lying down or sitting down on my ass about 97% of the time for the last 2 days. freedom at last!
so to all of you boys and girls out there, here's another friendly word of advice: BAWAL MAGKASAKIT!!!
when we reached the ER of chong hua hospital, it took their staff a full twenty minutes before they arranged a doctor to see me. twenty excruciating minutes. they had to take their sweet time just to make sure that i would be able to pay for the hospitalization. if i wasn't so weak i would have punched the nurse in the gut to make him feel just a tenth of the pain i had so he could get me a doctor quickly. the first thing their nurse asked when i got there was if i had insurance. insurance?! watdapak!!! i'm about to suffer kidney damage here and your asking for insurance?! ironically, the free calendar chong hua gives to admitted patients claims that chong hua was a "non-profit" organization. "non-profit" my ass. if chong hua is "non-profit" then gloria arroyo won the elections fair and square without cheating.
the ER people finally took me inside. one of the ER doctors comes up to me and starts asking me questions, what happened, how many times i vomited, when i started vomiting, what i had eaten, etc., while writing down her notes in an index card. after she finished her questioning she goes to a table at the back. a few minutes later another doctor comes up to me and asks the same set of questions. i thought, "what the hell do these people want to do to me, question me to death?" i had to point out to the new doctor that i had already been asked those questions just to make him shut up, which he mercifully did.
afterwards a nurse comes up to me to attach the needle for the IV fluid on my left hand. the nurse was in his late 20s, and he seemed to be an experienced nurse, so i thought, this shouldn't be that painful. but suddenly he calls out to the interns at the other side of the ER, then asks, "who of you wants to insert the needle?" "you have got to be kidding me...", i thought. unluckily for me, he wasn't. three young looking interns who seem to have just gotten out of puberty come up to me with very eager looks on their faces, as if they were looking at the frog they would be soon be dissecting in their anatomy class. the older nurse then gives the needle to one the interns, who seemed just a bit too excited, so i braced myself for the coming pain. the whole process lasted two very painful minutes. a friendly word of advise to you dear readers, if anyone of you is going to be admitted to a hospital, ask for a more experienced nurse to attach the IV needle. it'll save you from a lot of pain.
and i sure hope that that intern won't be taking what she learned from her anatomy lesson with me abroad. nurses and doctors leaving is the last thing this country needs. but if we also consider how poorly they're being paid here, can we actually blame them? and so, the current dillema.
i was finally taken to my hospital room in chong hua's new building. i have to give it to them, the new building was pretty impressive. it's very big and modern looking, you can actually see that a huge amount was spent for its construction. the new building's lobby looked like a hotel lobby.
my officemate turned ambulance driver nilo and our company nurse grace accompanied me for the night while they waited for my mother. it was already late when my mom arrived, but i was too exhausted from the pain to even talk so i slept through the whole night.
i woke up the next morning eager to see what shows were on cable tv. let's just say i was pretty grateful we didn't have cable tv installed at home. so many channels showing nothing else but crap. they didn't even have discovery channel, only its more boring counterpart, national geographic. there were the news channels (boring...), the sports channels showing a golf tournament (boring..), movie channels showing old or unknown movies (boring...), home shopping networks (getting sleepy...), chinese, indian, french, german channels (zzzzz...), business ads (snore...), and a crazy televangelist declaring that he is the second coming of Jesus Christ and asking for donations for their "kingdom" (you've got to be kidding...). the sports channels didn't even show a single game of the nba playoffs that day. i was starting to get convinced that universe was out to ruin my weekend.
good thing there was axn though, because they had the amazing race on at around noon. i'm rooting for the hippies bj and tyler to win, as they're more fun to watch than the other teams. they kinda' remind me of the clowns of amazing race 6 (or was it 5?). too bad those guys lost, it was weird seeing a grown up man who made everyone laugh just break down and cry on tv.
some officemates also came by to visit around lunchtime, which lifted my spirits a bit, although their visit also reminded me of the office party i was going to miss later that night. so much for the anticipation i had the whole week. i spent the rest of friday desperately trying to find a decent show to watch through all that crap on cable and wondering what everybody at the office was doing and how the party was going. it was purgatory on earth.
my doctor finally gave his discharge orders on the morning of saturday. it felt like a twenty year prison sentence was finally over. i was so happy to finally get out, stretch my legs, and breathe the polluted air of cebu city, considering that i was either lying down or sitting down on my ass about 97% of the time for the last 2 days. freedom at last!
so to all of you boys and girls out there, here's another friendly word of advice: BAWAL MAGKASAKIT!!!
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
the migration patterns of wildebeest
the "resignation season" has returned to our company. five of my fellow software engineers have resigned, four of them planning to go abroad. a high turn over rate seems to be a natural characteristic of the IT industry. it's so unlike the old days where employees tend to stick to only one or two companies their entire lives. when they retire, they would typically have already given ten to twenty years of their lives working for that company. for software developers these days, they say that the longest you should stay in a company should be only up to two years, after which you should move on. but doing so can also be a pretty enriching experience, as it would expose us to different areas where we can apply our expertise, expanding our very horizons in the process. i myself stayed only three months on my first job, before moving here to my current one.
the previous "resignation season" happened at about the same time a year ago. but none of them left the country. some went to work for IT firms in manila, while the others stayed here in cebu to work for other companies. it's sad to lose fellow officemates to other companies, but it's sadder if you lose them to other countries.
this is not to condemn them or judge them, my fellow employees planning to go abroad, for i myself might be following in their footsteps someday. but is there really no more hope for this country that the middle class and the professionals are all wanting to get the hell out of here? it's not like they're part of the really desperate segment of society who have no other option but to go abroad to work because they can't find a job here and if they do stay they'll starve. they're professional software developers who i think have pretty decent salaries. they most certainly won't starve with their salaries. yes, they may be a bit hard put to pay, say, the mortgage for that house or car while maintaining a comfortable lifestyle, but i think the country really needs them at this point.
imagine this. if all the doctors left, who would treat the sick? if all the nurses left, who would be there to care for the patients? if all the teachers left, who would teach our children? if all the software engineers and programmers left, who would build and maintain the computer systems that have now become critical for the operation of many of our businesses and goverment agencies, if not the country as a whole? if all the software engineers and programmers left, what would be the point of foreign firms investing and outsourcing their IT needs here if there are none of us left? if all the software engineers and programmers left, how are we supposed to move and reach the heights we all want to reach for our nation?
and not to mention the social costs of going abroad, leaving behind families that are going to miss a father or a mother growing up. one of those planning to go abroad is himself a father. i'm pretty sure he has thought long and hard about his decision to leave, as it entails sacrificing his seeing and being with his daughter at the point when she is entering adolescence. it must have been a painful decision for him, a decision which i certainly woudn't want to be forced to make if i do have a family of my own in the future.
but this is not to say that all who go abroad are going their purely for the money. they may be going there for personal reasons i may never know and understand. maybe they just want a new life abroad, away from the pains, problems, and heartaches that might accompany their staying here. maybe they just want to see new places and learn new things. and also, all of my fellow employees who resigned to go abroad are all older than me, so maybe they have more experiences in life to say why they should leave. and to think that some our very own national heroes like Rizal, del Pilar, and the Luna brothers went abroad while working toward their goal of making the motherland a better place.
and i know too, that it is very hard to work for a concept of a country that doesn't seem to work for you. here we all are doing our duties as citizens of this country by following the law and paying our taxes correctly, and what do we get for it? a corrupt system that doesn't even work for us but only for those who are in power, trapos (traditional politicians) who don't respect the most sacred right of a people in a democracy, their vote, and a president so desperate to hold on to power just because she believes she is the only viable alternative to the country and insulting all her fellow countrymen in the process by considering them as a messy mass of barbarians who are unable to govern themselves.
but if you think about it, shouldn't that be bigger reason for us to stay? so that we can help out to fix the system? so that we can fight the power that for so long has entrenched itself into our society? so that we can help make the Philippines more attractive to foreign investment by simply staying here and giving the best we have to offer in our jobs? or do we just leave the fixing and the work to others then come back once things are going on the right track?
it reminds me of the great migration of the wildebeest in the plains of the serengeti in africa. the wildebeest are constantly on the move, seeking places where the grass is greener and more abundant. but once they are done with this pasture, they leave it behind bare and on its own to regenerate.
are we destined to be like the wildebeeste? are we destined to be nomads, a people without a land we can call home? can the Philippines still even exist in a decade or two if we all keep this mindset?
there is one major difference between heroes and wildebeest. it is that even if our heroes did leave, they came back armed with the wisdom and experience gained from their journeys abroad and actually tried fixing things.
but who am i really to say all this. who am i to dictate the direction they would like to take in their lives. who am i to demand heroism from them. maybe i am just being young and foolish. that maybe, come a few more years, i will learn that idealism is overrated, that idealists don't survive in a dog-eat-dog world such as ours. that maybe, come a few more years i myself might become more practical in my thinking and decide to leave as well. but right now, i sure hope to God i don't eat my words. and i also hope that you guys come back.
the previous "resignation season" happened at about the same time a year ago. but none of them left the country. some went to work for IT firms in manila, while the others stayed here in cebu to work for other companies. it's sad to lose fellow officemates to other companies, but it's sadder if you lose them to other countries.
this is not to condemn them or judge them, my fellow employees planning to go abroad, for i myself might be following in their footsteps someday. but is there really no more hope for this country that the middle class and the professionals are all wanting to get the hell out of here? it's not like they're part of the really desperate segment of society who have no other option but to go abroad to work because they can't find a job here and if they do stay they'll starve. they're professional software developers who i think have pretty decent salaries. they most certainly won't starve with their salaries. yes, they may be a bit hard put to pay, say, the mortgage for that house or car while maintaining a comfortable lifestyle, but i think the country really needs them at this point.
imagine this. if all the doctors left, who would treat the sick? if all the nurses left, who would be there to care for the patients? if all the teachers left, who would teach our children? if all the software engineers and programmers left, who would build and maintain the computer systems that have now become critical for the operation of many of our businesses and goverment agencies, if not the country as a whole? if all the software engineers and programmers left, what would be the point of foreign firms investing and outsourcing their IT needs here if there are none of us left? if all the software engineers and programmers left, how are we supposed to move and reach the heights we all want to reach for our nation?
and not to mention the social costs of going abroad, leaving behind families that are going to miss a father or a mother growing up. one of those planning to go abroad is himself a father. i'm pretty sure he has thought long and hard about his decision to leave, as it entails sacrificing his seeing and being with his daughter at the point when she is entering adolescence. it must have been a painful decision for him, a decision which i certainly woudn't want to be forced to make if i do have a family of my own in the future.
but this is not to say that all who go abroad are going their purely for the money. they may be going there for personal reasons i may never know and understand. maybe they just want a new life abroad, away from the pains, problems, and heartaches that might accompany their staying here. maybe they just want to see new places and learn new things. and also, all of my fellow employees who resigned to go abroad are all older than me, so maybe they have more experiences in life to say why they should leave. and to think that some our very own national heroes like Rizal, del Pilar, and the Luna brothers went abroad while working toward their goal of making the motherland a better place.
and i know too, that it is very hard to work for a concept of a country that doesn't seem to work for you. here we all are doing our duties as citizens of this country by following the law and paying our taxes correctly, and what do we get for it? a corrupt system that doesn't even work for us but only for those who are in power, trapos (traditional politicians) who don't respect the most sacred right of a people in a democracy, their vote, and a president so desperate to hold on to power just because she believes she is the only viable alternative to the country and insulting all her fellow countrymen in the process by considering them as a messy mass of barbarians who are unable to govern themselves.
but if you think about it, shouldn't that be bigger reason for us to stay? so that we can help out to fix the system? so that we can fight the power that for so long has entrenched itself into our society? so that we can help make the Philippines more attractive to foreign investment by simply staying here and giving the best we have to offer in our jobs? or do we just leave the fixing and the work to others then come back once things are going on the right track?
it reminds me of the great migration of the wildebeest in the plains of the serengeti in africa. the wildebeest are constantly on the move, seeking places where the grass is greener and more abundant. but once they are done with this pasture, they leave it behind bare and on its own to regenerate.
are we destined to be like the wildebeeste? are we destined to be nomads, a people without a land we can call home? can the Philippines still even exist in a decade or two if we all keep this mindset?
there is one major difference between heroes and wildebeest. it is that even if our heroes did leave, they came back armed with the wisdom and experience gained from their journeys abroad and actually tried fixing things.
but who am i really to say all this. who am i to dictate the direction they would like to take in their lives. who am i to demand heroism from them. maybe i am just being young and foolish. that maybe, come a few more years, i will learn that idealism is overrated, that idealists don't survive in a dog-eat-dog world such as ours. that maybe, come a few more years i myself might become more practical in my thinking and decide to leave as well. but right now, i sure hope to God i don't eat my words. and i also hope that you guys come back.
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
a flower in the mud: ode to a girl in the jeepney
in the play of light and shadow
was her beauty made manifest
amid the battle
of jeepneys jockeying for passengers
amid the rattle
of the loot in the sacks of scavengers
in the cacophony
of vendors vending
and beggars begging
in the stink of open canal
and garbage uncollected
there across me
she sits pristine
a flower in the mud
and chaos of the city
in the toxic mix
of smoke and dust
her fragrance hits me
like a powerful gust
her body is a perfect landscape
an enchanted landscape
of hills and valleys
i contemplate her in silence
her face baths in light
this moonless night
like a beacon to guide me home
a slight turn of head
and i lose my way
in the mirage of her eyes
captured by this rapture
all i see
is an oasis in the desert
all i see
is paradise in the middle of hell
all i see
is you...
but only to soon
you turn away
why do you hide
your face from me miss?
why begrudge me
a bliss such as this?
where are the altars
built in your name?
tell me, miss
so i may go there
to worship at your feet
but the dream ends and i awake
she gets off her stop
and a sad goodbye i silently make
and to dreary reality i return
leaving with a memory in me that will burn
this memory of a face
that brightened one moonless night
was her beauty made manifest
amid the battle
of jeepneys jockeying for passengers
amid the rattle
of the loot in the sacks of scavengers
in the cacophony
of vendors vending
and beggars begging
in the stink of open canal
and garbage uncollected
there across me
she sits pristine
a flower in the mud
and chaos of the city
in the toxic mix
of smoke and dust
her fragrance hits me
like a powerful gust
her body is a perfect landscape
an enchanted landscape
of hills and valleys
i contemplate her in silence
her face baths in light
this moonless night
like a beacon to guide me home
a slight turn of head
and i lose my way
in the mirage of her eyes
captured by this rapture
all i see
is an oasis in the desert
all i see
is paradise in the middle of hell
all i see
is you...
but only to soon
you turn away
why do you hide
your face from me miss?
why begrudge me
a bliss such as this?
where are the altars
built in your name?
tell me, miss
so i may go there
to worship at your feet
but the dream ends and i awake
she gets off her stop
and a sad goodbye i silently make
and to dreary reality i return
leaving with a memory in me that will burn
this memory of a face
that brightened one moonless night
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
the enemy of my enemy is my friend
i seem to have found an ally in my war against cockroaches. no, not the local pest control people, spiders. i was taking a bath one morning when i found a creature of indeterminate shape in the corner. i have bad eye sight, so i squinted a bit to see what it was. it looked like a spider, with all the legs, but it had something bulging under it. so i came closer and saw that it was cockroach. to my pleasant surprise, the spider seems to have captured it and was in the process of slowly poisoning its victim to death. i stared at the scene for a couple of seconds with a discovery channel like curiosity. so cockroaches do have a natural predator!
i know, spiders, like cockroaches, are considered household pests. but at least spiders don't have the gall to show their ugly mug in front of you almost everywhere in the house. kung sa bisaya pa, di sila pareha kabaga ug nawong sa mga ok-ok, kay wala nay uwaw nang mga ok-oka na. spiders are shy creatures, prefering to hide in the dark shadowy corners away from human detection. so as long as they don't show themselves too much and just remain in the shadows, and they continue doing their job in the campaign of eradicating the earth (or at least our house) of cockroaches, then their co-existence with us humans in our house should be fine by me. it's like a contract killer-client relationship. they hunt down my enemies, and i give them free board and lodging. like kenshin himura, that spider was my very own assassin in the shadows. i think it's what my high school biology teacher would call a symbiotic relationship. and i don't think they're as dirty as roaches anyway.
hooray for spiders!
UPDATE: this is from the world book encyclopedia. "Spiders are helpful to people because they eat harmful insects. Spiders eat grasshoppers and locusts, which destroy crops, and flies and mosquitoes, which carry diseases." so spiders really ARE one of the good guys, they just got themselves a bad rep from all those old disney cartoons.
i know, spiders, like cockroaches, are considered household pests. but at least spiders don't have the gall to show their ugly mug in front of you almost everywhere in the house. kung sa bisaya pa, di sila pareha kabaga ug nawong sa mga ok-ok, kay wala nay uwaw nang mga ok-oka na. spiders are shy creatures, prefering to hide in the dark shadowy corners away from human detection. so as long as they don't show themselves too much and just remain in the shadows, and they continue doing their job in the campaign of eradicating the earth (or at least our house) of cockroaches, then their co-existence with us humans in our house should be fine by me. it's like a contract killer-client relationship. they hunt down my enemies, and i give them free board and lodging. like kenshin himura, that spider was my very own assassin in the shadows. i think it's what my high school biology teacher would call a symbiotic relationship. and i don't think they're as dirty as roaches anyway.
hooray for spiders!
UPDATE: this is from the world book encyclopedia. "Spiders are helpful to people because they eat harmful insects. Spiders eat grasshoppers and locusts, which destroy crops, and flies and mosquitoes, which carry diseases." so spiders really ARE one of the good guys, they just got themselves a bad rep from all those old disney cartoons.
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
the ant
one lazy afternoon
it presented itself to me
an ant
slave to sweet sugar
laboring under a load
of breadcrumbs and desperation
i wondered if i should squish it
to bring it out of its misery
and mine
but then an epiphany
are we not but mere ants
in the gaze of the almighty?
it presented itself to me
an ant
slave to sweet sugar
laboring under a load
of breadcrumbs and desperation
i wondered if i should squish it
to bring it out of its misery
and mine
but then an epiphany
are we not but mere ants
in the gaze of the almighty?
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Disturb us, Lord
a nice prayer to meditate on this lenten season
#########################################
Disturb us, Lord, when
We are too well pleased with ourselves,
When our dreams have come true
Because we have dreamed too little,
When we arrived safely
Because we sailed too close to the shore.
Disturb us, Lord, when
With the abundance of things we possess
We have lost our thirst
For the waters of life;
Having fallen in love with life,
We have ceased to dream of eternity
And in our efforts to build a new earth,
We have allowed our vision
Of the new Heaven to dim.
Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly,
To venture on wider seas
Where storms will show your mastery;
Where losing sight of land,
We shall find the stars.
We ask You to push back
The horizons of our hopes;
And to push into the future
In strength, courage, hope, and love.
attributed - sir francis drake - 1577
#########################################
Disturb us, Lord, when
We are too well pleased with ourselves,
When our dreams have come true
Because we have dreamed too little,
When we arrived safely
Because we sailed too close to the shore.
Disturb us, Lord, when
With the abundance of things we possess
We have lost our thirst
For the waters of life;
Having fallen in love with life,
We have ceased to dream of eternity
And in our efforts to build a new earth,
We have allowed our vision
Of the new Heaven to dim.
Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly,
To venture on wider seas
Where storms will show your mastery;
Where losing sight of land,
We shall find the stars.
We ask You to push back
The horizons of our hopes;
And to push into the future
In strength, courage, hope, and love.
attributed - sir francis drake - 1577
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
top 10 things i would do if i were declared the king of the philippines
this is another top 10 list. aside from the schtick people usually answer, like ending poverty, making education the number one priority, running after all crooks in government, working on lasting peace and order, etc. (which i myself would intend to do, of course), these are the top 10 things i would do if i were declared the king of the philippines:
10. bring back bobot candy
remember those? if you grew up in the late 80s and early 90s then you'll probably remember those. it's one the icons of my early childhood, those little peanuts coated in a sweet sugary layer in rainbow colors. it was one of the few items i could buy in the sari sari store with the 25 centavo allowance my mother usually gave me. cheap but satisfying. makes me wish i was a child again.
9. have people who answer their cellphones in movie theaters beaten and humiliated in public
i was watching memoirs of a geisha at sm once. when the movie was just about to start a familiar ringing sound suddenly comes out of nowhere, and then the guy to my left pulls out his cellphone and chats away with someone who seemed to be his girlfriend. AAARRGGH... for the next 10 minutes me and my fellow moviegoers discovered more about his love life than the movie's story. if i could hurl thunderbolts at the guy then i would've, but all that came out of me was a very pathetic "ssssshhhh!".
8. start a campaign geared toward the extinction of cockroaches
cockroaches. the scum of the earth, the scourge of humanity. ewww. i hate them with a vengeance. do you know that in the event of a nuclear fallout the last creatures to ever come out of it alive would be cockroaches? plus, they're disgusting little critters. everytime i see them in my house the hunter instinct in me comes alive and down comes my tsinelas (slipper) on the little beast. i know, a simple spraying of baygon is more effective, but not as satisfying as squashing that cockroach to mulch.
7. buy a new refrigerator
our fridge has been broken for weeks already, and i haven't been able to get a nice cold glass of water when i wake up in the morning for a very very loooong time now. what makes it worse is that it's summer. if that isn't hell on earth, i don't know what is.
6. order those trendy cafes like starbucks to sell coffee according to what its actually worth
selling ordinary brewed coffee at 150 pesos a cup is simply criminal...
5. have all inconsiderate smokers who smoke in public without even thinking about those who don't smoke arrested
this is one of my personal pet peeves. you're sitting in a jeepney on the way to work, breathing in a healthy dose of smoke from the morning traffic rush, then the guy beside you lights a cigarette and smokes. you try covering your nose, make coughing noises, frowning, anything to get the message through to that man's probably non existent brain that you do not want him sitting beside you with that cigarette, and yet still he puffs away.
we're already choking from all the smoke belched by those jurrasic jeepneys and those monster factories, but do you people really have to add to all that smoke? yes, this is a free country, and granted, you have the freedom to kill yourselves. but do you have to bring us non-smokers closer to hell together with you?
4. declare a moratorium on those crappy lovey dovey pinoy movies
no wonder the local movie industry is dying, all they keep churning out is crap. i hate the manufactured feel of their so called "love teams". they all look so forced, so artificially sweet so that the viewing public will take notice of their "romance" and watch their damn movie. but the public seems to lap it all up everytime, so what do i know.
3. stop the airing of all showbiz news programs
the buzz, S files, different rooms on the same hell on earth, as one fellow blogger put it. why people give a f*ck about Kris Aquino's latest love affair when we have much bigger problems to think about is simply beyond me. a friendly word of advice to all of you suckers out there: get a life.
2. PLAGIARISTS WILL BE SHOT!!! DEATH TO ALL PLAGIARISTS!!!
i was blog surfing one night when i came across the blog of a person who i sort of knew because she was one year my senior in college and who also happened to be the classmate of my former officemate and the former officemate of one my college buddies. skimming over her blog, i came across one poem, which after my reading it seemed VERY VERY familiar. then it hit me. THAT WAS MY POEM. she took most of the lines, added some of her own, mixed and matched some other lines, then voila, it was suddenly HER poem...
WHAT THE F*CK!!!
the great irony of it is, she works in the software industry, which itself is a victim of piracy, a close cousin of plagiarism. but at least pirates don't claim that they developed the software, the credit is still where it should be. so that makes her worse than pirates.
but then again, imitation is the highest form of flattery, so maybe she thinks my poem IS good :) so from the bottom of my heart, dear plagiarist, i thank you.
UPDATE: ms. plagiarist seems to have deleted her blog... hmmm... does that mean she doesn't like my poem anymore? :)
and the number 1 thing i would do if i were declared king of the philippines:
1. outlaw playing and listening to ANY song by air supply.
man, do i hate their songs. not do i just hate their songs, i detest their songs with a deep loathing. people seem to be playing them everywhere, all the time. i hear their songs in my neighborhood, in jeepneys, in videoke bars, downtown, everywhere. once, when i went out with my officemates for some videoke (yes, i now enjoy singing at the videoke. i take back everything i said about videoke.), they sang "i'm all out of love" by air supply. oh how i had wanted to eat them alive.
in one of their songs, their vocalist shrieks, "i don't know what to saaaaaay! i don't know what to saaaaaaaaaaaay!" tell you what mr. air supply vocalist sir, if you don't know what to say, then SHUT UP ALREADY!
10. bring back bobot candy
remember those? if you grew up in the late 80s and early 90s then you'll probably remember those. it's one the icons of my early childhood, those little peanuts coated in a sweet sugary layer in rainbow colors. it was one of the few items i could buy in the sari sari store with the 25 centavo allowance my mother usually gave me. cheap but satisfying. makes me wish i was a child again.
9. have people who answer their cellphones in movie theaters beaten and humiliated in public
i was watching memoirs of a geisha at sm once. when the movie was just about to start a familiar ringing sound suddenly comes out of nowhere, and then the guy to my left pulls out his cellphone and chats away with someone who seemed to be his girlfriend. AAARRGGH... for the next 10 minutes me and my fellow moviegoers discovered more about his love life than the movie's story. if i could hurl thunderbolts at the guy then i would've, but all that came out of me was a very pathetic "ssssshhhh!".
8. start a campaign geared toward the extinction of cockroaches
cockroaches. the scum of the earth, the scourge of humanity. ewww. i hate them with a vengeance. do you know that in the event of a nuclear fallout the last creatures to ever come out of it alive would be cockroaches? plus, they're disgusting little critters. everytime i see them in my house the hunter instinct in me comes alive and down comes my tsinelas (slipper) on the little beast. i know, a simple spraying of baygon is more effective, but not as satisfying as squashing that cockroach to mulch.
7. buy a new refrigerator
our fridge has been broken for weeks already, and i haven't been able to get a nice cold glass of water when i wake up in the morning for a very very loooong time now. what makes it worse is that it's summer. if that isn't hell on earth, i don't know what is.
6. order those trendy cafes like starbucks to sell coffee according to what its actually worth
selling ordinary brewed coffee at 150 pesos a cup is simply criminal...
5. have all inconsiderate smokers who smoke in public without even thinking about those who don't smoke arrested
this is one of my personal pet peeves. you're sitting in a jeepney on the way to work, breathing in a healthy dose of smoke from the morning traffic rush, then the guy beside you lights a cigarette and smokes. you try covering your nose, make coughing noises, frowning, anything to get the message through to that man's probably non existent brain that you do not want him sitting beside you with that cigarette, and yet still he puffs away.
we're already choking from all the smoke belched by those jurrasic jeepneys and those monster factories, but do you people really have to add to all that smoke? yes, this is a free country, and granted, you have the freedom to kill yourselves. but do you have to bring us non-smokers closer to hell together with you?
4. declare a moratorium on those crappy lovey dovey pinoy movies
no wonder the local movie industry is dying, all they keep churning out is crap. i hate the manufactured feel of their so called "love teams". they all look so forced, so artificially sweet so that the viewing public will take notice of their "romance" and watch their damn movie. but the public seems to lap it all up everytime, so what do i know.
3. stop the airing of all showbiz news programs
the buzz, S files, different rooms on the same hell on earth, as one fellow blogger put it. why people give a f*ck about Kris Aquino's latest love affair when we have much bigger problems to think about is simply beyond me. a friendly word of advice to all of you suckers out there: get a life.
2. PLAGIARISTS WILL BE SHOT!!! DEATH TO ALL PLAGIARISTS!!!
i was blog surfing one night when i came across the blog of a person who i sort of knew because she was one year my senior in college and who also happened to be the classmate of my former officemate and the former officemate of one my college buddies. skimming over her blog, i came across one poem, which after my reading it seemed VERY VERY familiar. then it hit me. THAT WAS MY POEM. she took most of the lines, added some of her own, mixed and matched some other lines, then voila, it was suddenly HER poem...
WHAT THE F*CK!!!
the great irony of it is, she works in the software industry, which itself is a victim of piracy, a close cousin of plagiarism. but at least pirates don't claim that they developed the software, the credit is still where it should be. so that makes her worse than pirates.
but then again, imitation is the highest form of flattery, so maybe she thinks my poem IS good :) so from the bottom of my heart, dear plagiarist, i thank you.
UPDATE: ms. plagiarist seems to have deleted her blog... hmmm... does that mean she doesn't like my poem anymore? :)
and the number 1 thing i would do if i were declared king of the philippines:
1. outlaw playing and listening to ANY song by air supply.
man, do i hate their songs. not do i just hate their songs, i detest their songs with a deep loathing. people seem to be playing them everywhere, all the time. i hear their songs in my neighborhood, in jeepneys, in videoke bars, downtown, everywhere. once, when i went out with my officemates for some videoke (yes, i now enjoy singing at the videoke. i take back everything i said about videoke.), they sang "i'm all out of love" by air supply. oh how i had wanted to eat them alive.
in one of their songs, their vocalist shrieks, "i don't know what to saaaaaay! i don't know what to saaaaaaaaaaaay!" tell you what mr. air supply vocalist sir, if you don't know what to say, then SHUT UP ALREADY!
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
pilipinas, february 2006
despair celebrates
in the stomachs of the hungry
apathy penetrates
those who were once angry
letting go of our patrimony
for the sake of the "economy"
economy, economy, economy
i say,
an economy of crumbs
for the hungry to feast on
while the pigs wallow
in a pen strewn with pearls and diamonds
but where is justice?
has she been forgotten?
or are all their crimes
so easily forgiven?
while the usurper sits on the throne
the voices of dissent
have been made silent
through exercise of fear and force
why do we choose
to stay in this course?
our history's endlessly repeating course?
this farce is too fierce
for mine ears
alas! alas!
is this nation's redemption
a heaven so far
from where we now are?
do we give up and flee
as so many of us have done?
i say,
if we only wake up
i say,
if we only open our eyes
i say,
if we only refuse to be bought
but still,
we choose to sleep
but still,
we choose to remain blind
but still,
we choose to be bought
it's a simple matter of choice
to raise a great and mighty voice
to ring righteous and resonant
in the halls of the palace
it's our palace
not hers
not theirs
ours
in the stomachs of the hungry
apathy penetrates
those who were once angry
letting go of our patrimony
for the sake of the "economy"
economy, economy, economy
i say,
an economy of crumbs
for the hungry to feast on
while the pigs wallow
in a pen strewn with pearls and diamonds
but where is justice?
has she been forgotten?
or are all their crimes
so easily forgiven?
while the usurper sits on the throne
the voices of dissent
have been made silent
through exercise of fear and force
why do we choose
to stay in this course?
our history's endlessly repeating course?
this farce is too fierce
for mine ears
alas! alas!
is this nation's redemption
a heaven so far
from where we now are?
do we give up and flee
as so many of us have done?
i say,
if we only wake up
i say,
if we only open our eyes
i say,
if we only refuse to be bought
but still,
we choose to sleep
but still,
we choose to remain blind
but still,
we choose to be bought
it's a simple matter of choice
to raise a great and mighty voice
to ring righteous and resonant
in the halls of the palace
it's our palace
not hers
not theirs
ours
Thursday, March 16, 2006
paranoia 2006
weird experience. i was riding a jeepney on the way home last night when a guy got on carrying a cardboard box sealed in packaging tape. guy looked quite normal, but suddenly, alarm bells started going off in my head crying, "suicide bomber! suicide bomber!". i think it can be proven that the terrorists are actually the most harmless and ordinary looking people, until they blow themselves and the city block they're in to pieces. this got me watching him nervously, detecting any signs of strange behavior. a few minutes later, he reaches into his pocket and grabs a cellphone. the same alarms bells go off again. this time, i was thinking, "holy crap! he's gonna detonate the bomb through his cellphone!" i spent the rest of the ride home confessing my sins before God. fortunately for me, and for you also my 2 loyal readers, the guy got off before I did without incident, which leaves me to blog about it.
note to self, must stop watching the evening news.
damn terrorists, their making me all paranoid. blast yourselves to bits you freaks.
note to self, must stop watching the evening news.
damn terrorists, their making me all paranoid. blast yourselves to bits you freaks.
Monday, March 13, 2006
infinite loop
in response to the clamor of my 2 loyal readers, here is my first post for the year. sorry for the delay, either i was too drunk or too depressed to write anything. and thank you also for letting me know that mine is not a voice in the desert.
#############################
my infinite loop theory
watching the news of the events in the past weeks, i have come to the conclusion that the Philippines is a computer program stuck in an infinite loop. to the non-programmers out there, an infinite loop is basically a set of computer instructions that runs forever. if this nation's history in the past 40 years would be written in computer code, it would come out something like this:
People FilipinoPeople;
while ( true ) {
Government government = FilipinoPeople.EstablishDemocracy( );
while ( FilipinoPeople.Tolerance( ) < government.Corruption( ) ) {
FilipinoPeople.StopCaring( );
government.BecomesMoreCorrupt( );
}
FilipinoPeople.GoToEDSA( );
}
this nation needs to change its programming.
#############################
my infinite loop theory
watching the news of the events in the past weeks, i have come to the conclusion that the Philippines is a computer program stuck in an infinite loop. to the non-programmers out there, an infinite loop is basically a set of computer instructions that runs forever. if this nation's history in the past 40 years would be written in computer code, it would come out something like this:
People FilipinoPeople;
while ( true ) {
Government government = FilipinoPeople.EstablishDemocracy( );
while ( FilipinoPeople.Tolerance( ) < government.Corruption( ) ) {
FilipinoPeople.StopCaring( );
government.BecomesMoreCorrupt( );
}
FilipinoPeople.GoToEDSA( );
}
this nation needs to change its programming.
Thursday, March 09, 2006
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