liar liar

i lied.

but not in the same magnitude, or rather, hilarity, as miriam defensor santiago's lie. as some of you might remember (which is, in itself, a miracle, given the pinoy's typical amnesia regarding such matters), she announced publicly that "I will jump headfirst from a helicopter in Luneta if Estrada gets removed from power". to probably much of her enemies' rejoicing, things didn't turn out as she had anticipated. people power kicked erap out of malacanang after. she would have to jump headfirst from a helicopter in Luneta, as promised. later, when reporters found her skull intact, they asked miriam about her promise. in characteristic candor, she replied smiling: "i lied".

and my lie certainly wasn't in the same league as gloria macapagal arroyo's, when she said on rizal day 2002 (or, on rizal's grave, as conrado de quiros would unceasingly point out), that she, so as to not bring even more divisiveness to an already divided country, would not run for president on 2004. ladies and gentlemen, such is the sad state of our politics.

nonetheless, given the puniness of my lie compared to the immensity of both elected (or not) government officials' lies, we still cannot gloss over the fact: i lied.

it happened like this. even with my shampoo's packaging declaring it to be anti-dandruff, one saturday morning found me with a severe case of it. apparently, my shampoo wasn't working. so later in the afternoon, i rushed to our neighborhood grocery to buy me another shampoo.

now that i think about it, i guess you people didn't really need to know about my dandruff... so let's continue...

i got myself a bottle of another anti-dandruff shampoo, which was worth 99 pesos. before reaching the counter, i scanned the contents of my wallet and found just one 100 peso bill, the rest being 500 peso bills (which is not to say i have plenty of spare cash. most of it was for our electric bill and rent). the 100 peso bill would have been convenient, not just for me but also for the lady manning the grocery counter. but then, i thought, i might need some change. so i decided to just take one of my 500 peso bills. the lady in the counter scanned my bottle of shampoo on the barcode reader, then i handed her my money.

the lady frowned. she asked, 'wala kay 100 lang sir? (don't you have 100 pesos?)'. for a millisecond there, a part of me was saying 'maybe i should just admit it'. but it was too late. unwilling to wait for my conscience to enforce its decision, my neck muscles then acted independently and proceeded shaking my head to tell the lady 'no'.

the lady sighed in resignation. she opened her cash register and took her last two remaining 100 peso bills, took four of her last five remaining 50 peso bills (i noticed that there was just one left), then took a single peso coin to give me my exact change of 401 pesos. she practically had no more change left.

i *could* blame my neck muscles for the incident. but my conscience didn't see it that way, and then went on bothering me for the next 2 hours or so.

but had i been strictly honest, i would have told the lady, "yes ma'am, i do have a 100 peso bill in my wallet, but i need the change. so, no. sorry, here's 500 pesos, and please give me my change." but... damn it... that's plain rude. and the choices look stark: either you lie (or at least not tell the truth), or, you do tell the truth and then end up being a complete asshole.

for some reason, i feel like quoting the nationalist historian teodoro agoncillo, who once said, "those who are afraid to make enemies cannot be expected to tell the truth". or something like that. i think. which is not to say he was encouraging us all to be assholes. or that i'm using it as an excuse to lie. or am i? wait a sec... am i making sense here?

i could have just given the lady my last 100 peso bill. period. maybe it's not really an issue of telling the truth. it's an issue of self-sacrifice. not that i'm trying to sound noble here, but it now seems to boil down to this: "am i willing to suffer the minor inconvenience of not having change instead of bothering the lady in the counter in addition to lying to her?"

so i guess that's it. i would have avoided bothering the lady. i would have also avoided being bothered by my consciece. gloria arroyo would have avoided being so despised. and miriam... well, she can be very entertaining, so let's just leave it at that.

but then, had i not lied, i wouldn't have been able to write this piece at all. i guess lying still has its uses.

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it took me one and a half months to finish this piece. i guess that's how long it took me to admit to myself that either way, even if i lie or i don't, i'm still being an asshole hahaha.

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published in the philippine daily inquirer 3/14/2009 :)
http://opinion.inquirer.net/inquireropinion/columns/view/20090314-194116/Liars

the mayorship of mandaue is a family heirloom

they've started campaigning. in our little neighborhood's basketball court, they've setup this stage w/ loud speakers for maximum broadcast range. but they actually started way before the campaign period, when they proceeded polluting the streets with their names and their ugly faces.

the presentors seem to be alternating between entertainers and the campaign people. first a dance number, then a speaker comes on stage singing praises to this candidate and that, then a song number from someone who probably failed in his bid to enter star in a million or philippine idol, and then another speaker declaring his candidates as qualified for sainthood, and then another dance number, so on and so forth.

from what i'm hearing, these people are all running for positions in mandaue city hall. and they seem to be campaigning for jonkie ouano's team. yes, ouano, as in the incumbent teddy ouano's son. it's still early, so i haven't made my mind up yet as to who i'm voting for mayor. but one thing's for sure, i'm not voting for jonkie ouano.

i have this nagging suspicion that the ouanos consider the office of the mayor of the city of mandaue as some sort of family property to be passed on from one generation to another. jonkie's grandfather alfredo "pedong" ouano had already been mayor since the 80's (i think) through much of the 90's. and then jonkie's father thadeo "teddy" ouano took over in 1998. this being teddy's last term, he has now anointed his son as successor. so if he wins, jonkie will be the 3rd generation ouano to become mayor of mandaue.

and what makes my suspicions worse is that jonkie is practically a neophyte in mandaue city politics. he didn't even get himself elected as city councilor or vice mayor or even baranggay captain in mandaue. from out of nowhere, he just jumped straight to the position of mayor for no other foreseeable reason than that he is his father's son, just like his father before him. the other candidates are way more experienced than him, ading seno, for instance, having been teddy's vice mayor for his past 3 terms, and jonas cortes having experience in the city council.

the argument that teddy has been pushing to promote jonkie's candidacy is that jonkie can continue teddy's own programs. but that is, of course, premised on the fact that anyone else, or anyone not holding the surname ouano, can't do anything good for the city.

and when he says jonkie can continue *his* programs, then that also means that teddy won't be disappearing from the city hall picture anytime soon. those are *his* programs, so who better to manage it, right? at the very least, he'll stay on in his capacity as 'adviser'. at worst, he'll be a puppet master pulling the strings from behind. i think the framers of the 1987 constitution had a good reason when they institutionalized the idea of term limits.

my mother's 'suki' tricycle driver has also been campaigning for jonkie. he says: "why should we vote for someone new? anyone we'll be voting into office will still become corrupt anyway, so we might as well vote for what's tried and tested." right. brilliant. the logic is impeccable. after hearing him say that i so wanted to go and kick him in the head.

don't they all get it? that's what the vote is for you morons! it's supposed to make those we vote for feel accountable, that the position is not there for them to enrich themselves, but to make the city/town/baranggay/district/province/nation go forward. if we continue thinking that way, then we might as well tell the spaniards to enslave us all over again. ironically, the ones who say the same thing as our tricycle driver tend to be the ones who bellyache later on once the elections are over. and even scarier, i am finding even more and more people thinking the same way as him.

but of course, we live in the philippines, land of the free, free enough to limit our options between cheaters and thieves for our leaders. we live in the philippines, 'lupang hinirang, duyan ka ng magiting', 'magiting' enough to let the cheaters and thieves get away with it.

the opposition divided, i'm inclined to vote for the strongest and the most winnable of jonkie's opponents, but what makes the choice a lot more difficult is that those perceived to be winnable, jonas cortes and ading seno, themselves have had fathers or forefathers who also parked their butts on the mayor's chair.

mandaue may have gone far the past 100 years, but some things never change. still only those with noble blood have the right to the throne.

assholes

the assholes who call themselves congressmen are at it again:

Congress pork doubles in ’07 budget
Pork used to buy overpriced fertilizer

state of the nation addresses

everybody from gloria macapagal arroyo, to opposition politicians, street rallyists, newspaper columnists, and even the deposed president estrada will all be delivering their versions of the state of the nation address today. incidentally, the tropical storm now ravaging luzon was originally named gloria. how appropriate.

the weird world of pinoy politics

from news.inq7.net:

Anakpawis party-list Representative Crispin Beltran yesterday advised Mikey Arroyo to quit his post and focus on his fledgling movie career.

According to the imdb.com website, Mikey last appeared in the movies "Masamang Ugat" and "A.B. Normal," both produced in 2003. He has a forthcoming movie with Ethel Booba and a host of other congressmen titled, "Sablay ka na, Pasaway ka pa," under Cine Suerte Pictures.

at first, it was the actors who wanted to be politicians. now the politicians want to become actors too. weird. as they say, onli in da pilipins!

but when you think about it, it actually does make sense, when watching the news on pinoy politics is almost like watching "the buzz" and "s-files".

the horror...

to the dogs, i say!

gawd, what the hell is going on to this country:

P1-B lobby for 'sin' taxes

a government controlled by the moneyed elite...

Angara confirms meeting with Arroyo

then politicians with no backbone who only act out of political convenience and not out of ideals...

What bonus? Gov't workers gripe

and an under paid government workforce that is forced to resort to corruption...

This country is going to the dogs, I say!!! To the dogs!!!