his wife's a bitch...

...literally

Man weds dog in bid to break curse

NEW DELHI (AP) -- A man in southern India married a female dog in a traditional Hindu ceremony in a bid to atone for stoning two dogs to death, a newspaper reported Tuesday.

The 33-year-old man married the sari-draped dog at a temple in the southern state of Tamil Nadu on Sunday after an astrologer said it was the only way to cure himself of a disability, the Hindustan Times newspaper reported.

P. Selvakumar told the paper that he had been suffering since he stoned two dogs to death and strung them up in a tree 15 years ago.

"After that my legs and hands got paralyzed and I lost hearing in one ear," the paper quoted him as saying.

Family members chose a stray female dog named Selvi who was then bathed and clothed for the ceremony.

The groom and his family then had a feast, while the dog got a bun, the paper said.

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i guess we can all go ahead and say that his wife's a bitch without risking a libel suit no?

i wonder how their honeymoon went...

but all's not well for selvi. it seems her husband's family hasn't accepted her yet. they only gave a her a bun at her wedding feast. they didn't even give her a slice of the wedding cake. how cruel is that! will their marriage last if selvi's in-laws can't even get along with her?

and what if selvi is unfaithful? you know how female dogs can be: once their in heat, they're IN HEAT. and they become a magnet for all the male dogs within a 1 kilometer radius. i can only imagine the quarrel that explodes between mr. selvakumar and selvi.

mr. selvakumar: selvi! where have you been? it's already 3 am!

selvi: woof!

mr. selvakumar: the neighborhood kids tell me that they've seen you and bruno together. what were you two doing? have you been smooching with him?

selvi: woof!

the next morning, mr. selvakumar hears a knock on his door. it's his neighbor kerpal, and he brings bad news. kerpal tells him that he saw selvi last night screwing around with his dog bruno. mr. selvakumar is heartbroken.

in that case, can he file for divorce?

yes, there is life outside your computer

and i thought i didn't have a life (pun sort of intended). in the news:

China web-user dies after three-day online binge

BEIJING -- A man in southern China collapsed and died after a three-day marathon online session at a cybercafe, state media reported on Monday.

The web-user, estimated to be 30 years old, suddenly collapsed in front of his computer terminal in Guangdong province, and emergency personnel were unable to revive him, the Beijing News reported.


i now have a new mantra to recite. ok, everyone, repeat after me:
yes, [your name here], there is life outside your computer.

the carrot and stick approach

talk about the carrot and stick approach:

Boom Boom's village loses road project after boxer's loss

CEBU CITY -- The shocking defeat of Rey "Boom-boom" Bautista by Mexico's Daniel Ponce de Leon did not only sadden his fellow Boholanos. It also cost his village a cemented road.

A dismayed Bohol Gov. Erico Aumentado said that the plan to cement the provincial road going to Barangay Can-uling, Bautista's home village in the town of Candijay, would not push through -- for now.

Aumentado admitted that before the fight, he promised the young Boholano boxer that the road would be cemented but only if he won.

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if we could only find a truly effective way of motivating our athletes, then maybe our basketball team wouldn't have to apologize to us after failing in the fiba asia olympic qualifier. maybe we'd even get that elusive gold in the olympics! we can rule the world!

i remember something i read in time magazine years ago. as a way of 'encouraging' the iraq national football team, saddam's son uday hussein would beat the soles of their feet with a cane everytime they lost. unlike the good governor of bohol, uday did not believe in the power of the carrot, only the stick. it had to take the fall of saddam for iraq's soccer team to finally win big, a testament to the validity of uday's motivational approach.

i can imagine gma placing a call to manny pacquiao before his rematch with marco antonio barrera:

gma: hello manny?

manny: yis ma'am! gud ibning ma'am!

gma: my husband just bet 100 million on your coming fight with barrera. if you win this fight, i promise you, on the next election, you will have the hordes of garci and lintang bedol in your disposal! you will finally get that seat in congress! or like migz, even become senator, if you like!

manny: and... uh... if i lose?

gma: i'll just issue an executive order sparing the rest of the country from your singing career [mike arroyo sniggers in the background]

manny: oh, is that all madam president?

gma: yes manny, have a good fight then! bye!

gma hangs up. mike arroyo is later taken to the hospital for laughing too hard. and manny pacquiao regains his focus, forgets about ara mina, goes back to LA, spends his remaining time training hard, and clobbers marco antonio barrera on fight night.

the eternal erection

makes me think of converting:

... as the Encyclopaedia of Islam says, even orthodox Muslim theologians such as al Ghazali (died 1111 CE) and Al-Ash'ari (died 935 CE) have "admitted sensual pleasures into paradise". The sensual pleasures are graphically elaborated by Al-Suyuti (died 1505 ), Koranic commentator and polymath. He wrote: "Each time we sleep with a houri we find her virgin. Besides, the penis of the Elected never softens. The erection is eternal; the sensation that you feel each time you make love is utterly delicious and out of this world and were you to experience it in this world you would faint. Each chosen one [ie Muslim] will marry seventy [sic] houris, besides the women he married on earth, and all will have appetizing vaginas."

the nba is a loony bin

and i thought kobe bryant was crazy... here's a bit of old news i came across:

(CBS) MINNEAPOLIS On March 30, Minnesota Timberwolves center Eddie Griffin was drunk and masturbating when he crashed his luxury SUV into a parked Suburban outside a store in Minneapolis, according to a lawsuit filed Thursday by the man whose Suburban was hit in the crash.

assholes

the assholes who call themselves congressmen are at it again:

Congress pork doubles in ’07 budget
Pork used to buy overpriced fertilizer

mathematical error

from the philippine daily inquirer:

According to Legarda, the fact that the survey was done by a US firm with 1,500 respondents nationwide -- 200 more than SWS’s usual 1,200 -- “added authority” to the results.

state of the nation addresses

everybody from gloria macapagal arroyo, to opposition politicians, street rallyists, newspaper columnists, and even the deposed president estrada will all be delivering their versions of the state of the nation address today. incidentally, the tropical storm now ravaging luzon was originally named gloria. how appropriate.

smells like martial law

president gloria is starting to really creep me out. first she had the policy of "calibrated preemptive response" against rallyists, which had the militants and leftists declaring it as a violation of human rights. then the plan to take over vital industries had businessmen running scared. now she has executive order no. 464, which is basically a challenge against congress, or the senate in particular, which is currently investigating the controversies involving malacanang like the wiretapping scandal, the venable deal, and northrail project. she may not call it martial law, but it sure smells like martial law to me.

PowerPoint is Evil!!! and Other Matters

PowerPoint: Killer App?

Power Corrupts. PowerPoint Corrupts Absolutely.

They have a point... and to think that we used that a lot in college...

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New entries in my photoblog!

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Meanwhile, an interesting piece of Filipino history from Ambeth Ocampo's column today on how the separation of church and state came about in the Malolos Congress:

“Antonio Luna also became a member of Congress. There he affiliated himself with the faction that we can call Radical. This faction was formed almost spontaneously when the celebrated debates started in Congress over the separation of Church and State, the expulsion of the friars and other religious congregations from the Philippines, and the prohibition by the Constitution of the formation of new religious orders.

“The debates showed signs of dragging on forever because, although it appears strange considering the motives which started the Revolution, one-half of the members of the Congress were adherents of the friars. Eloquent speeches from each group were pronounced, but there never was a voting because both groups were afraid of the result of the balloting. Luna broke the situation with one of those tricks peculiar to his character and which made him famous later.

“He assembled all those delegates of the Radical faction who had confidence in him, advising them to keep away from the sessions of the Congress but requesting them to remain within call at a moment’s notice. With the Radicals absent, the Conservatives constituted a majority during the sessions. Having made a careful count and thinking themselves sure of victory, the Conservatives asked for a vote while the few Radicals present registered a token opposition. The motion to call a vote was carried. Then, at the precise moment of balloting, Luna immediately called all his adherents to enter the session hall en masse, to the surprise of the confident Conservatives. The voting was taken and we won, if I remember right, by one or two votes. In this manner, a provision in our Constitution for the separation of Church and State was secured."

the weird world of pinoy politics

from news.inq7.net:

Anakpawis party-list Representative Crispin Beltran yesterday advised Mikey Arroyo to quit his post and focus on his fledgling movie career.

According to the imdb.com website, Mikey last appeared in the movies "Masamang Ugat" and "A.B. Normal," both produced in 2003. He has a forthcoming movie with Ethel Booba and a host of other congressmen titled, "Sablay ka na, Pasaway ka pa," under Cine Suerte Pictures.

at first, it was the actors who wanted to be politicians. now the politicians want to become actors too. weird. as they say, onli in da pilipins!

but when you think about it, it actually does make sense, when watching the news on pinoy politics is almost like watching "the buzz" and "s-files".

the horror...

unbelievable

Some positive news. Even with the instability brought about by elections last year and the unusual series of typhoons bringing problems to the agricultural sector...

RP economy grows 6.1%

But should we really take that as good news? Is there enough of the growth to trickle down for the masses to feel it?

In other news, congress is finally showing some signs of intelligence...

More palatable VAT up at Senate

Meanwhile, the search for intelligent life in Philippine government continues...

strange alliances...

time really does change things...

getting stranger and stranger...

The Malaysian use of mobile phone technology gets stranger by the day:

Malaysian bride jilted via SMS -- report

What's next? Divorce via SMS? Wait... oh yeah... they already have that...

Malaysia permits text message divorce

Weird...

miracles do happen

Saw this in the news last night. At last, a bit of good news from all the tragedy:

Miners pull out 4 buried under ruins
3 kids, grandma end 10-day ordeal

Miracles do happen...

to the dogs, i say!

gawd, what the hell is going on to this country:

P1-B lobby for 'sin' taxes

a government controlled by the moneyed elite...

Angara confirms meeting with Arroyo

then politicians with no backbone who only act out of political convenience and not out of ideals...

What bonus? Gov't workers gripe

and an under paid government workforce that is forced to resort to corruption...

This country is going to the dogs, I say!!! To the dogs!!!