previously... on prison break

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his wife's a bitch...

...literally

Man weds dog in bid to break curse

NEW DELHI (AP) -- A man in southern India married a female dog in a traditional Hindu ceremony in a bid to atone for stoning two dogs to death, a newspaper reported Tuesday.

The 33-year-old man married the sari-draped dog at a temple in the southern state of Tamil Nadu on Sunday after an astrologer said it was the only way to cure himself of a disability, the Hindustan Times newspaper reported.

P. Selvakumar told the paper that he had been suffering since he stoned two dogs to death and strung them up in a tree 15 years ago.

"After that my legs and hands got paralyzed and I lost hearing in one ear," the paper quoted him as saying.

Family members chose a stray female dog named Selvi who was then bathed and clothed for the ceremony.

The groom and his family then had a feast, while the dog got a bun, the paper said.

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i guess we can all go ahead and say that his wife's a bitch without risking a libel suit no?

i wonder how their honeymoon went...

but all's not well for selvi. it seems her husband's family hasn't accepted her yet. they only gave a her a bun at her wedding feast. they didn't even give her a slice of the wedding cake. how cruel is that! will their marriage last if selvi's in-laws can't even get along with her?

and what if selvi is unfaithful? you know how female dogs can be: once their in heat, they're IN HEAT. and they become a magnet for all the male dogs within a 1 kilometer radius. i can only imagine the quarrel that explodes between mr. selvakumar and selvi.

mr. selvakumar: selvi! where have you been? it's already 3 am!

selvi: woof!

mr. selvakumar: the neighborhood kids tell me that they've seen you and bruno together. what were you two doing? have you been smooching with him?

selvi: woof!

the next morning, mr. selvakumar hears a knock on his door. it's his neighbor kerpal, and he brings bad news. kerpal tells him that he saw selvi last night screwing around with his dog bruno. mr. selvakumar is heartbroken.

in that case, can he file for divorce?

not a cheerful giver

a family friend sent me a text message friday evening. his pregnant wife's blood pressure had shot up to 150/110. the doctors thought it more risky if the delivery was natural, so she had to give birth by caesarian section. the procedure was a success, but they were desperately short on cash, and asked for help. i just had a nice dinner, and was about to enter ayala center cinema 2 when i received the message.

i didn't reply immediately. i finished the movie and went home, mulling it over on the way. i got to bed still without reaching a decision. when i woke up, it was already morning. i thought, if i was going to help, i should do it now. and if i was going to give, it had to be substantial enough to be of real help to them.

so i decided to help anyway, but not without agonizing over it. in his present situation, i couldn't really expect him to repay me. and the amount i had decided on wasn't really that big, but it was big enough to hurt.

i am not writing this to praise myself, but to ask. while mulling it over in the morning, i thought of this passage from the Good Book that says we should not give reluctantly or out of compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. had i been reluctant? oh yes, very much. and i was going to give out of pity, and guilt, both of which i think fall under 'compulsion'. and i don't feel particularly cheerful about it either. so will God not love me for doing it?

am i so bad?

we met up a few hours later. the baby is a boy. and i'm going to be the godfather. which makes me sound like a gangster.

all soul's day haiku

two candles melting
in defiance of darkness--
remembrance

ghost story

my late stepfather was quite fond of cigarettes. sadly, this habit of his soon sent him to the grave. my cousin, knowing this, brought 3 sticks of marlboro with him when he visited my stepfather's (his uncle's) tomb at the cemetery last thursday, all saint's day.

my cousin still had work that day, so he came early. he put flowers on the tomb, lit some candles, then placed the 3 cigarettes on top. he held vigil and waited for the candles to burn out.

the candles burn out, and he turns to leave. a disembodied voice then calls out to him: "psst... posporo..."

when my mom and i arrive later at the cemetery, we find the cigarettes gone. tsk tsk tsk...

i guess you need not worry about high blood pressure or lung cancer or stroke in the afterlife, no?

*****

in memory of boboy, may he rest in peace