a bum tummy forced me to the hospital last thursday. i think it was a combination of not having eaten anything for breakfast because i had to go very early to the doctor, and then eating something bad for lunch. big mistake. by afternoon of thursday i was already puking my guts out. this lost me much of the fluids in my system that i became so dehydrated and my arms, legs, and abdomen started to go numb. the doctor said if i had lasted a bit longer in that state without having been taken to the hospital, i would have suffered kidney damage. panic started setting in. i was so weak physically that i didn't have an ounce of strength to stand up, and my officemates had to carry me out of the building and drive me to the hospital. humiliating experience. i have a bad feeling that everytime my officemates see me they'd think, "hey, that's the loser who puked his guts out and had to be taken to the hospital". oh, the horror.
when we reached the ER of chong hua hospital, it took their staff a full twenty minutes before they arranged a doctor to see me. twenty excruciating minutes. they had to take their sweet time just to make sure that i would be able to pay for the hospitalization. if i wasn't so weak i would have punched the nurse in the gut to make him feel just a tenth of the pain i had so he could get me a doctor quickly. the first thing their nurse asked when i got there was if i had insurance. insurance?! watdapak!!! i'm about to suffer kidney damage here and your asking for insurance?! ironically, the free calendar chong hua gives to admitted patients claims that chong hua was a "non-profit" organization. "non-profit" my ass. if chong hua is "non-profit" then gloria arroyo won the elections fair and square without cheating.
the ER people finally took me inside. one of the ER doctors comes up to me and starts asking me questions, what happened, how many times i vomited, when i started vomiting, what i had eaten, etc., while writing down her notes in an index card. after she finished her questioning she goes to a table at the back. a few minutes later another doctor comes up to me and asks the same set of questions. i thought, "what the hell do these people want to do to me, question me to death?" i had to point out to the new doctor that i had already been asked those questions just to make him shut up, which he mercifully did.
afterwards a nurse comes up to me to attach the needle for the IV fluid on my left hand. the nurse was in his late 20s, and he seemed to be an experienced nurse, so i thought, this shouldn't be that painful. but suddenly he calls out to the interns at the other side of the ER, then asks, "who of you wants to insert the needle?" "you have got to be kidding me...", i thought. unluckily for me, he wasn't. three young looking interns who seem to have just gotten out of puberty come up to me with very eager looks on their faces, as if they were looking at the frog they would be soon be dissecting in their anatomy class. the older nurse then gives the needle to one the interns, who seemed just a bit too excited, so i braced myself for the coming pain. the whole process lasted two very painful minutes. a friendly word of advise to you dear readers, if anyone of you is going to be admitted to a hospital, ask for a more experienced nurse to attach the IV needle. it'll save you from a lot of pain.
and i sure hope that that intern won't be taking what she learned from her anatomy lesson with me abroad. nurses and doctors leaving is the last thing this country needs. but if we also consider how poorly they're being paid here, can we actually blame them? and so, the current dillema.
i was finally taken to my hospital room in chong hua's new building. i have to give it to them, the new building was pretty impressive. it's very big and modern looking, you can actually see that a huge amount was spent for its construction. the new building's lobby looked like a hotel lobby.
my officemate turned ambulance driver nilo and our company nurse grace accompanied me for the night while they waited for my mother. it was already late when my mom arrived, but i was too exhausted from the pain to even talk so i slept through the whole night.
i woke up the next morning eager to see what shows were on cable tv. let's just say i was pretty grateful we didn't have cable tv installed at home. so many channels showing nothing else but crap. they didn't even have discovery channel, only its more boring counterpart, national geographic. there were the news channels (boring...), the sports channels showing a golf tournament (boring..), movie channels showing old or unknown movies (boring...), home shopping networks (getting sleepy...), chinese, indian, french, german channels (zzzzz...), business ads (snore...), and a crazy televangelist declaring that he is the second coming of Jesus Christ and asking for donations for their "kingdom" (you've got to be kidding...). the sports channels didn't even show a single game of the nba playoffs that day. i was starting to get convinced that universe was out to ruin my weekend.
good thing there was axn though, because they had the amazing race on at around noon. i'm rooting for the hippies bj and tyler to win, as they're more fun to watch than the other teams. they kinda' remind me of the clowns of amazing race 6 (or was it 5?). too bad those guys lost, it was weird seeing a grown up man who made everyone laugh just break down and cry on tv.
some officemates also came by to visit around lunchtime, which lifted my spirits a bit, although their visit also reminded me of the office party i was going to miss later that night. so much for the anticipation i had the whole week. i spent the rest of friday desperately trying to find a decent show to watch through all that crap on cable and wondering what everybody at the office was doing and how the party was going. it was purgatory on earth.
my doctor finally gave his discharge orders on the morning of saturday. it felt like a twenty year prison sentence was finally over. i was so happy to finally get out, stretch my legs, and breathe the polluted air of cebu city, considering that i was either lying down or sitting down on my ass about 97% of the time for the last 2 days. freedom at last!
so to all of you boys and girls out there, here's another friendly word of advice: BAWAL MAGKASAKIT!!!
Monday, May 15, 2006
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
the migration patterns of wildebeest
the "resignation season" has returned to our company. five of my fellow software engineers have resigned, four of them planning to go abroad. a high turn over rate seems to be a natural characteristic of the IT industry. it's so unlike the old days where employees tend to stick to only one or two companies their entire lives. when they retire, they would typically have already given ten to twenty years of their lives working for that company. for software developers these days, they say that the longest you should stay in a company should be only up to two years, after which you should move on. but doing so can also be a pretty enriching experience, as it would expose us to different areas where we can apply our expertise, expanding our very horizons in the process. i myself stayed only three months on my first job, before moving here to my current one.
the previous "resignation season" happened at about the same time a year ago. but none of them left the country. some went to work for IT firms in manila, while the others stayed here in cebu to work for other companies. it's sad to lose fellow officemates to other companies, but it's sadder if you lose them to other countries.
this is not to condemn them or judge them, my fellow employees planning to go abroad, for i myself might be following in their footsteps someday. but is there really no more hope for this country that the middle class and the professionals are all wanting to get the hell out of here? it's not like they're part of the really desperate segment of society who have no other option but to go abroad to work because they can't find a job here and if they do stay they'll starve. they're professional software developers who i think have pretty decent salaries. they most certainly won't starve with their salaries. yes, they may be a bit hard put to pay, say, the mortgage for that house or car while maintaining a comfortable lifestyle, but i think the country really needs them at this point.
imagine this. if all the doctors left, who would treat the sick? if all the nurses left, who would be there to care for the patients? if all the teachers left, who would teach our children? if all the software engineers and programmers left, who would build and maintain the computer systems that have now become critical for the operation of many of our businesses and goverment agencies, if not the country as a whole? if all the software engineers and programmers left, what would be the point of foreign firms investing and outsourcing their IT needs here if there are none of us left? if all the software engineers and programmers left, how are we supposed to move and reach the heights we all want to reach for our nation?
and not to mention the social costs of going abroad, leaving behind families that are going to miss a father or a mother growing up. one of those planning to go abroad is himself a father. i'm pretty sure he has thought long and hard about his decision to leave, as it entails sacrificing his seeing and being with his daughter at the point when she is entering adolescence. it must have been a painful decision for him, a decision which i certainly woudn't want to be forced to make if i do have a family of my own in the future.
but this is not to say that all who go abroad are going their purely for the money. they may be going there for personal reasons i may never know and understand. maybe they just want a new life abroad, away from the pains, problems, and heartaches that might accompany their staying here. maybe they just want to see new places and learn new things. and also, all of my fellow employees who resigned to go abroad are all older than me, so maybe they have more experiences in life to say why they should leave. and to think that some our very own national heroes like Rizal, del Pilar, and the Luna brothers went abroad while working toward their goal of making the motherland a better place.
and i know too, that it is very hard to work for a concept of a country that doesn't seem to work for you. here we all are doing our duties as citizens of this country by following the law and paying our taxes correctly, and what do we get for it? a corrupt system that doesn't even work for us but only for those who are in power, trapos (traditional politicians) who don't respect the most sacred right of a people in a democracy, their vote, and a president so desperate to hold on to power just because she believes she is the only viable alternative to the country and insulting all her fellow countrymen in the process by considering them as a messy mass of barbarians who are unable to govern themselves.
but if you think about it, shouldn't that be bigger reason for us to stay? so that we can help out to fix the system? so that we can fight the power that for so long has entrenched itself into our society? so that we can help make the Philippines more attractive to foreign investment by simply staying here and giving the best we have to offer in our jobs? or do we just leave the fixing and the work to others then come back once things are going on the right track?
it reminds me of the great migration of the wildebeest in the plains of the serengeti in africa. the wildebeest are constantly on the move, seeking places where the grass is greener and more abundant. but once they are done with this pasture, they leave it behind bare and on its own to regenerate.
are we destined to be like the wildebeeste? are we destined to be nomads, a people without a land we can call home? can the Philippines still even exist in a decade or two if we all keep this mindset?
there is one major difference between heroes and wildebeest. it is that even if our heroes did leave, they came back armed with the wisdom and experience gained from their journeys abroad and actually tried fixing things.
but who am i really to say all this. who am i to dictate the direction they would like to take in their lives. who am i to demand heroism from them. maybe i am just being young and foolish. that maybe, come a few more years, i will learn that idealism is overrated, that idealists don't survive in a dog-eat-dog world such as ours. that maybe, come a few more years i myself might become more practical in my thinking and decide to leave as well. but right now, i sure hope to God i don't eat my words. and i also hope that you guys come back.
the previous "resignation season" happened at about the same time a year ago. but none of them left the country. some went to work for IT firms in manila, while the others stayed here in cebu to work for other companies. it's sad to lose fellow officemates to other companies, but it's sadder if you lose them to other countries.
this is not to condemn them or judge them, my fellow employees planning to go abroad, for i myself might be following in their footsteps someday. but is there really no more hope for this country that the middle class and the professionals are all wanting to get the hell out of here? it's not like they're part of the really desperate segment of society who have no other option but to go abroad to work because they can't find a job here and if they do stay they'll starve. they're professional software developers who i think have pretty decent salaries. they most certainly won't starve with their salaries. yes, they may be a bit hard put to pay, say, the mortgage for that house or car while maintaining a comfortable lifestyle, but i think the country really needs them at this point.
imagine this. if all the doctors left, who would treat the sick? if all the nurses left, who would be there to care for the patients? if all the teachers left, who would teach our children? if all the software engineers and programmers left, who would build and maintain the computer systems that have now become critical for the operation of many of our businesses and goverment agencies, if not the country as a whole? if all the software engineers and programmers left, what would be the point of foreign firms investing and outsourcing their IT needs here if there are none of us left? if all the software engineers and programmers left, how are we supposed to move and reach the heights we all want to reach for our nation?
and not to mention the social costs of going abroad, leaving behind families that are going to miss a father or a mother growing up. one of those planning to go abroad is himself a father. i'm pretty sure he has thought long and hard about his decision to leave, as it entails sacrificing his seeing and being with his daughter at the point when she is entering adolescence. it must have been a painful decision for him, a decision which i certainly woudn't want to be forced to make if i do have a family of my own in the future.
but this is not to say that all who go abroad are going their purely for the money. they may be going there for personal reasons i may never know and understand. maybe they just want a new life abroad, away from the pains, problems, and heartaches that might accompany their staying here. maybe they just want to see new places and learn new things. and also, all of my fellow employees who resigned to go abroad are all older than me, so maybe they have more experiences in life to say why they should leave. and to think that some our very own national heroes like Rizal, del Pilar, and the Luna brothers went abroad while working toward their goal of making the motherland a better place.
and i know too, that it is very hard to work for a concept of a country that doesn't seem to work for you. here we all are doing our duties as citizens of this country by following the law and paying our taxes correctly, and what do we get for it? a corrupt system that doesn't even work for us but only for those who are in power, trapos (traditional politicians) who don't respect the most sacred right of a people in a democracy, their vote, and a president so desperate to hold on to power just because she believes she is the only viable alternative to the country and insulting all her fellow countrymen in the process by considering them as a messy mass of barbarians who are unable to govern themselves.
but if you think about it, shouldn't that be bigger reason for us to stay? so that we can help out to fix the system? so that we can fight the power that for so long has entrenched itself into our society? so that we can help make the Philippines more attractive to foreign investment by simply staying here and giving the best we have to offer in our jobs? or do we just leave the fixing and the work to others then come back once things are going on the right track?
it reminds me of the great migration of the wildebeest in the plains of the serengeti in africa. the wildebeest are constantly on the move, seeking places where the grass is greener and more abundant. but once they are done with this pasture, they leave it behind bare and on its own to regenerate.
are we destined to be like the wildebeeste? are we destined to be nomads, a people without a land we can call home? can the Philippines still even exist in a decade or two if we all keep this mindset?
there is one major difference between heroes and wildebeest. it is that even if our heroes did leave, they came back armed with the wisdom and experience gained from their journeys abroad and actually tried fixing things.
but who am i really to say all this. who am i to dictate the direction they would like to take in their lives. who am i to demand heroism from them. maybe i am just being young and foolish. that maybe, come a few more years, i will learn that idealism is overrated, that idealists don't survive in a dog-eat-dog world such as ours. that maybe, come a few more years i myself might become more practical in my thinking and decide to leave as well. but right now, i sure hope to God i don't eat my words. and i also hope that you guys come back.
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
a flower in the mud: ode to a girl in the jeepney
in the play of light and shadow
was her beauty made manifest
amid the battle
of jeepneys jockeying for passengers
amid the rattle
of the loot in the sacks of scavengers
in the cacophony
of vendors vending
and beggars begging
in the stink of open canal
and garbage uncollected
there across me
she sits pristine
a flower in the mud
and chaos of the city
in the toxic mix
of smoke and dust
her fragrance hits me
like a powerful gust
her body is a perfect landscape
an enchanted landscape
of hills and valleys
i contemplate her in silence
her face baths in light
this moonless night
like a beacon to guide me home
a slight turn of head
and i lose my way
in the mirage of her eyes
captured by this rapture
all i see
is an oasis in the desert
all i see
is paradise in the middle of hell
all i see
is you...
but only to soon
you turn away
why do you hide
your face from me miss?
why begrudge me
a bliss such as this?
where are the altars
built in your name?
tell me, miss
so i may go there
to worship at your feet
but the dream ends and i awake
she gets off her stop
and a sad goodbye i silently make
and to dreary reality i return
leaving with a memory in me that will burn
this memory of a face
that brightened one moonless night
was her beauty made manifest
amid the battle
of jeepneys jockeying for passengers
amid the rattle
of the loot in the sacks of scavengers
in the cacophony
of vendors vending
and beggars begging
in the stink of open canal
and garbage uncollected
there across me
she sits pristine
a flower in the mud
and chaos of the city
in the toxic mix
of smoke and dust
her fragrance hits me
like a powerful gust
her body is a perfect landscape
an enchanted landscape
of hills and valleys
i contemplate her in silence
her face baths in light
this moonless night
like a beacon to guide me home
a slight turn of head
and i lose my way
in the mirage of her eyes
captured by this rapture
all i see
is an oasis in the desert
all i see
is paradise in the middle of hell
all i see
is you...
but only to soon
you turn away
why do you hide
your face from me miss?
why begrudge me
a bliss such as this?
where are the altars
built in your name?
tell me, miss
so i may go there
to worship at your feet
but the dream ends and i awake
she gets off her stop
and a sad goodbye i silently make
and to dreary reality i return
leaving with a memory in me that will burn
this memory of a face
that brightened one moonless night
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
the enemy of my enemy is my friend
i seem to have found an ally in my war against cockroaches. no, not the local pest control people, spiders. i was taking a bath one morning when i found a creature of indeterminate shape in the corner. i have bad eye sight, so i squinted a bit to see what it was. it looked like a spider, with all the legs, but it had something bulging under it. so i came closer and saw that it was cockroach. to my pleasant surprise, the spider seems to have captured it and was in the process of slowly poisoning its victim to death. i stared at the scene for a couple of seconds with a discovery channel like curiosity. so cockroaches do have a natural predator!
i know, spiders, like cockroaches, are considered household pests. but at least spiders don't have the gall to show their ugly mug in front of you almost everywhere in the house. kung sa bisaya pa, di sila pareha kabaga ug nawong sa mga ok-ok, kay wala nay uwaw nang mga ok-oka na. spiders are shy creatures, prefering to hide in the dark shadowy corners away from human detection. so as long as they don't show themselves too much and just remain in the shadows, and they continue doing their job in the campaign of eradicating the earth (or at least our house) of cockroaches, then their co-existence with us humans in our house should be fine by me. it's like a contract killer-client relationship. they hunt down my enemies, and i give them free board and lodging. like kenshin himura, that spider was my very own assassin in the shadows. i think it's what my high school biology teacher would call a symbiotic relationship. and i don't think they're as dirty as roaches anyway.
hooray for spiders!
UPDATE: this is from the world book encyclopedia. "Spiders are helpful to people because they eat harmful insects. Spiders eat grasshoppers and locusts, which destroy crops, and flies and mosquitoes, which carry diseases." so spiders really ARE one of the good guys, they just got themselves a bad rep from all those old disney cartoons.
i know, spiders, like cockroaches, are considered household pests. but at least spiders don't have the gall to show their ugly mug in front of you almost everywhere in the house. kung sa bisaya pa, di sila pareha kabaga ug nawong sa mga ok-ok, kay wala nay uwaw nang mga ok-oka na. spiders are shy creatures, prefering to hide in the dark shadowy corners away from human detection. so as long as they don't show themselves too much and just remain in the shadows, and they continue doing their job in the campaign of eradicating the earth (or at least our house) of cockroaches, then their co-existence with us humans in our house should be fine by me. it's like a contract killer-client relationship. they hunt down my enemies, and i give them free board and lodging. like kenshin himura, that spider was my very own assassin in the shadows. i think it's what my high school biology teacher would call a symbiotic relationship. and i don't think they're as dirty as roaches anyway.
hooray for spiders!
UPDATE: this is from the world book encyclopedia. "Spiders are helpful to people because they eat harmful insects. Spiders eat grasshoppers and locusts, which destroy crops, and flies and mosquitoes, which carry diseases." so spiders really ARE one of the good guys, they just got themselves a bad rep from all those old disney cartoons.
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