if you're reading this, you know who you are. honestly, after everything you've said, i *STILL* don't get what your problem is. you're scared she'd be bored with you? you never know, she's also scared you'd be bored with her. that i believe is a very invalid consideration. [syntax error. please delete from thought process.]
as for her weird mood swings, we all know how girls can be, with their monthly transformations from sweet little thing to fire breathing dragon. they can't help it, it's in their body chemistry. but that means you'll have to live with it though. it's a burden all men must face, unless you've chosen to be celibate.
you're not sure that what you feel for her is "LOVE"? you want to make sure that it's actually "LOVE" before you formalize things with her? ahh, "LOVE", the word that has brought so many great men to their knees and so many brave warriors to lose courage. well, i think you're right. what you feel for her right now is *NOT* yet "LOVE", but mere infatuation. but it *ALWAYS* starts that way. right now, when you're with her, you still have that feeling that your stomach is in knots and your heart is doing somersaults. but one day, that feeling will dull, die, and be gone. our brains, according to this article from national geographic, can't maintain the intense neural activity of infatuation. that's when "LOVE" is supposed to take over. "LOVE" is not some sensation you wait for to happen, it's something you decide to do and work on along the way. "Does love not sprout from need/ but choice?", the poet angelo suarez wrote. i used to think otherwise, but now i'm starting to agree with him.
so what the hell are you waiting for? GET A MOVE ON BOY!
unless, of course, you're set on buying me that pizza... dapat yellow cab ha... dugay na sad raba ko wa katilaw ug yellow cab :P
P.S. nya pakapini sad diay ug coke, matuk-an nya ko...
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
the mayorship of mandaue is a family heirloom
they've started campaigning. in our little neighborhood's basketball court, they've setup this stage w/ loud speakers for maximum broadcast range. but they actually started way before the campaign period, when they proceeded polluting the streets with their names and their ugly faces.
the presentors seem to be alternating between entertainers and the campaign people. first a dance number, then a speaker comes on stage singing praises to this candidate and that, then a song number from someone who probably failed in his bid to enter star in a million or philippine idol, and then another speaker declaring his candidates as qualified for sainthood, and then another dance number, so on and so forth.
from what i'm hearing, these people are all running for positions in mandaue city hall. and they seem to be campaigning for jonkie ouano's team. yes, ouano, as in the incumbent teddy ouano's son. it's still early, so i haven't made my mind up yet as to who i'm voting for mayor. but one thing's for sure, i'm not voting for jonkie ouano.
i have this nagging suspicion that the ouanos consider the office of the mayor of the city of mandaue as some sort of family property to be passed on from one generation to another. jonkie's grandfather alfredo "pedong" ouano had already been mayor since the 80's (i think) through much of the 90's. and then jonkie's father thadeo "teddy" ouano took over in 1998. this being teddy's last term, he has now anointed his son as successor. so if he wins, jonkie will be the 3rd generation ouano to become mayor of mandaue.
and what makes my suspicions worse is that jonkie is practically a neophyte in mandaue city politics. he didn't even get himself elected as city councilor or vice mayor or even baranggay captain in mandaue. from out of nowhere, he just jumped straight to the position of mayor for no other foreseeable reason than that he is his father's son, just like his father before him. the other candidates are way more experienced than him, ading seno, for instance, having been teddy's vice mayor for his past 3 terms, and jonas cortes having experience in the city council.
the argument that teddy has been pushing to promote jonkie's candidacy is that jonkie can continue teddy's own programs. but that is, of course, premised on the fact that anyone else, or anyone not holding the surname ouano, can't do anything good for the city.
and when he says jonkie can continue *his* programs, then that also means that teddy won't be disappearing from the city hall picture anytime soon. those are *his* programs, so who better to manage it, right? at the very least, he'll stay on in his capacity as 'adviser'. at worst, he'll be a puppet master pulling the strings from behind. i think the framers of the 1987 constitution had a good reason when they institutionalized the idea of term limits.
my mother's 'suki' tricycle driver has also been campaigning for jonkie. he says: "why should we vote for someone new? anyone we'll be voting into office will still become corrupt anyway, so we might as well vote for what's tried and tested." right. brilliant. the logic is impeccable. after hearing him say that i so wanted to go and kick him in the head.
don't they all get it? that's what the vote is for you morons! it's supposed to make those we vote for feel accountable, that the position is not there for them to enrich themselves, but to make the city/town/baranggay/district/province/nation go forward. if we continue thinking that way, then we might as well tell the spaniards to enslave us all over again. ironically, the ones who say the same thing as our tricycle driver tend to be the ones who bellyache later on once the elections are over. and even scarier, i am finding even more and more people thinking the same way as him.
but of course, we live in the philippines, land of the free, free enough to limit our options between cheaters and thieves for our leaders. we live in the philippines, 'lupang hinirang, duyan ka ng magiting', 'magiting' enough to let the cheaters and thieves get away with it.
the opposition divided, i'm inclined to vote for the strongest and the most winnable of jonkie's opponents, but what makes the choice a lot more difficult is that those perceived to be winnable, jonas cortes and ading seno, themselves have had fathers or forefathers who also parked their butts on the mayor's chair.
mandaue may have gone far the past 100 years, but some things never change. still only those with noble blood have the right to the throne.
the presentors seem to be alternating between entertainers and the campaign people. first a dance number, then a speaker comes on stage singing praises to this candidate and that, then a song number from someone who probably failed in his bid to enter star in a million or philippine idol, and then another speaker declaring his candidates as qualified for sainthood, and then another dance number, so on and so forth.
from what i'm hearing, these people are all running for positions in mandaue city hall. and they seem to be campaigning for jonkie ouano's team. yes, ouano, as in the incumbent teddy ouano's son. it's still early, so i haven't made my mind up yet as to who i'm voting for mayor. but one thing's for sure, i'm not voting for jonkie ouano.
i have this nagging suspicion that the ouanos consider the office of the mayor of the city of mandaue as some sort of family property to be passed on from one generation to another. jonkie's grandfather alfredo "pedong" ouano had already been mayor since the 80's (i think) through much of the 90's. and then jonkie's father thadeo "teddy" ouano took over in 1998. this being teddy's last term, he has now anointed his son as successor. so if he wins, jonkie will be the 3rd generation ouano to become mayor of mandaue.
and what makes my suspicions worse is that jonkie is practically a neophyte in mandaue city politics. he didn't even get himself elected as city councilor or vice mayor or even baranggay captain in mandaue. from out of nowhere, he just jumped straight to the position of mayor for no other foreseeable reason than that he is his father's son, just like his father before him. the other candidates are way more experienced than him, ading seno, for instance, having been teddy's vice mayor for his past 3 terms, and jonas cortes having experience in the city council.
the argument that teddy has been pushing to promote jonkie's candidacy is that jonkie can continue teddy's own programs. but that is, of course, premised on the fact that anyone else, or anyone not holding the surname ouano, can't do anything good for the city.
and when he says jonkie can continue *his* programs, then that also means that teddy won't be disappearing from the city hall picture anytime soon. those are *his* programs, so who better to manage it, right? at the very least, he'll stay on in his capacity as 'adviser'. at worst, he'll be a puppet master pulling the strings from behind. i think the framers of the 1987 constitution had a good reason when they institutionalized the idea of term limits.
my mother's 'suki' tricycle driver has also been campaigning for jonkie. he says: "why should we vote for someone new? anyone we'll be voting into office will still become corrupt anyway, so we might as well vote for what's tried and tested." right. brilliant. the logic is impeccable. after hearing him say that i so wanted to go and kick him in the head.
don't they all get it? that's what the vote is for you morons! it's supposed to make those we vote for feel accountable, that the position is not there for them to enrich themselves, but to make the city/town/baranggay/district/province/nation go forward. if we continue thinking that way, then we might as well tell the spaniards to enslave us all over again. ironically, the ones who say the same thing as our tricycle driver tend to be the ones who bellyache later on once the elections are over. and even scarier, i am finding even more and more people thinking the same way as him.
but of course, we live in the philippines, land of the free, free enough to limit our options between cheaters and thieves for our leaders. we live in the philippines, 'lupang hinirang, duyan ka ng magiting', 'magiting' enough to let the cheaters and thieves get away with it.
the opposition divided, i'm inclined to vote for the strongest and the most winnable of jonkie's opponents, but what makes the choice a lot more difficult is that those perceived to be winnable, jonas cortes and ading seno, themselves have had fathers or forefathers who also parked their butts on the mayor's chair.
mandaue may have gone far the past 100 years, but some things never change. still only those with noble blood have the right to the throne.
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
beer and the meaning of existence
published 04/21/07 in the blog plug section of sunstar cebu's weekend magazine
#################################
my soul may just have died, i think, and it's all because of beer.
it happened like this. after months of unbroken sobriety, i finally had my first drink of beer last weekend. an officemate, marlon, was holding his despidida because he found another job in singapore, joining an already numerous group of former officemates working in the city state.
i actually had reservations on going. i knew alcohol would be involved (it always is on all of my officemates' despididas), and i just had a surgery 2 months ago. but my doctor did say that i could now go back to my old lifestyle, and my old lifestyle did include a measure of beer every now and then, especially on special occasions. so if he says it's ok, then nothing should go wrong with me (i hope). so off i went.
i didn't really drink that much in the party. the beer wasn't enough to make me puke on the street and turn my brain to mush, just enough to loosen us all up and make the party a jolly occasion. but i used to have a low regard for people who drink alcohol. the resulting euphoria was not real in the sense that it wasn't derived from thought and experience, but chemically induced. and following that, i saw no difference between beer drinkers and drug addicts. but discovering the joys of drinking later on, let's just say i've changed my position on that matter.
so the night wore on, and eventually the discussion reached the topic of the weird effects of alcohol.
alcohol has different, sometimes weird, sometimes funny effects on people. some become so jolly that when sufficiently soused they will laugh for no reason at all (that's me). some suddenly become all quiet. some start speaking gibberish like it was a foreign language. some get violent (w/c in bisaya is called 'mauy'). we have this office mate who is a quiet and mild mannered guy. but when he gets drunk, he's like bruce banner suddenly transforming to the incredible hulk, a green imposing mass of pure rage. some can even take a piss anywhere they feel the urge to do so (i remember another officemate...). it's like in that song by the eraserheads that goes: 'CR mo ang buong mundo'. thinking about all that, that's when it hit me.
it's a strange thing no, when your mood, and by extension, your outlook in life and your way of thinking, can so easily be altered by some substance or drug. it somehow runs against the proposition of man being a spiritual creature. how can there be a spirit, or a soul, or whatever you call it, that is supposed to be separate from the one's physical nature when it can be influenced by one chemical or other?
there are actually some religious groups, like the rastafarians, who commune with their deity by smoking marijuana. the oracles of ancient greece were known to be exposed to mind altering fumes, and the resulting gibberish from their mouths the priests interpreted to be messages from the gods, like in the movie 300.
we already have pills like uppers (to make us happy) and downers (to make us sad, or at least less happy), both easily prescribed by our friendly neighborhood psychiatrist. but imagine having a pill for, say, passion, or excitement, or romance, or contentment, or even peace of mind. do you feel depressed? take a pill! you've lost passion for your job? take a pill! you no longer love your wife of 40 years? take a pill! you feel that your life is a hassle and you want to end it all by jumping off a bridge? take a pill!
scientists are now beginning to understand the workings of the brain, albeit slowly. they've already mapped which parts of the brain function for emotion, and behavior, and sensation, and basic motion. and using an MRI to scan the brain, they can even read (sort of) what thoughts are going on in your head by measuring the blood flow in your brain. once science has fully understood the brain, the possibilities of what we can do scares me.
and when that time comes, the essence of humanity, of what it means to exist, is reduced to that of being a machine. we will be nothing more than living, breathing, thinking machines, no better than robots. it somehow robs us of a reason, of meaning, in our existence. we just happen to be here because we are here, period.
even sentience has a price, and it isn't cheap. my thoughts are beginning to scare me.
that must be why i get so envious of my cat miming every time i see her get her siesta. all she does is eat, sleep, and hunt for mice and roaches. and she doesn't have the facility to torture herself with thought. i'm starting to think we humans actually got the raw end of the deal.
but what do we do about it? do we despair over it and ruin our day?
i say, let's just swallow the possibility, believe whatever you want to believe, and get back to the business of living. we happen to be here, we might as well enjoy the ride.
some of you philosopher types may now be punching wholes in my line of thinking. but either way the debate ends up, soul or no soul, doesn't make our time here less precious. and the prospect of having no soul actually makes it even more so. if we have no soul, and it follows, no afterlife, then our time here is the only one we've got.
now, if they only had a pill for hangovers, then that would be really great...
#################################
my soul may just have died, i think, and it's all because of beer.
it happened like this. after months of unbroken sobriety, i finally had my first drink of beer last weekend. an officemate, marlon, was holding his despidida because he found another job in singapore, joining an already numerous group of former officemates working in the city state.
i actually had reservations on going. i knew alcohol would be involved (it always is on all of my officemates' despididas), and i just had a surgery 2 months ago. but my doctor did say that i could now go back to my old lifestyle, and my old lifestyle did include a measure of beer every now and then, especially on special occasions. so if he says it's ok, then nothing should go wrong with me (i hope). so off i went.
i didn't really drink that much in the party. the beer wasn't enough to make me puke on the street and turn my brain to mush, just enough to loosen us all up and make the party a jolly occasion. but i used to have a low regard for people who drink alcohol. the resulting euphoria was not real in the sense that it wasn't derived from thought and experience, but chemically induced. and following that, i saw no difference between beer drinkers and drug addicts. but discovering the joys of drinking later on, let's just say i've changed my position on that matter.
so the night wore on, and eventually the discussion reached the topic of the weird effects of alcohol.
alcohol has different, sometimes weird, sometimes funny effects on people. some become so jolly that when sufficiently soused they will laugh for no reason at all (that's me). some suddenly become all quiet. some start speaking gibberish like it was a foreign language. some get violent (w/c in bisaya is called 'mauy'). we have this office mate who is a quiet and mild mannered guy. but when he gets drunk, he's like bruce banner suddenly transforming to the incredible hulk, a green imposing mass of pure rage. some can even take a piss anywhere they feel the urge to do so (i remember another officemate...). it's like in that song by the eraserheads that goes: 'CR mo ang buong mundo'. thinking about all that, that's when it hit me.
it's a strange thing no, when your mood, and by extension, your outlook in life and your way of thinking, can so easily be altered by some substance or drug. it somehow runs against the proposition of man being a spiritual creature. how can there be a spirit, or a soul, or whatever you call it, that is supposed to be separate from the one's physical nature when it can be influenced by one chemical or other?
there are actually some religious groups, like the rastafarians, who commune with their deity by smoking marijuana. the oracles of ancient greece were known to be exposed to mind altering fumes, and the resulting gibberish from their mouths the priests interpreted to be messages from the gods, like in the movie 300.
we already have pills like uppers (to make us happy) and downers (to make us sad, or at least less happy), both easily prescribed by our friendly neighborhood psychiatrist. but imagine having a pill for, say, passion, or excitement, or romance, or contentment, or even peace of mind. do you feel depressed? take a pill! you've lost passion for your job? take a pill! you no longer love your wife of 40 years? take a pill! you feel that your life is a hassle and you want to end it all by jumping off a bridge? take a pill!
scientists are now beginning to understand the workings of the brain, albeit slowly. they've already mapped which parts of the brain function for emotion, and behavior, and sensation, and basic motion. and using an MRI to scan the brain, they can even read (sort of) what thoughts are going on in your head by measuring the blood flow in your brain. once science has fully understood the brain, the possibilities of what we can do scares me.
and when that time comes, the essence of humanity, of what it means to exist, is reduced to that of being a machine. we will be nothing more than living, breathing, thinking machines, no better than robots. it somehow robs us of a reason, of meaning, in our existence. we just happen to be here because we are here, period.
even sentience has a price, and it isn't cheap. my thoughts are beginning to scare me.
that must be why i get so envious of my cat miming every time i see her get her siesta. all she does is eat, sleep, and hunt for mice and roaches. and she doesn't have the facility to torture herself with thought. i'm starting to think we humans actually got the raw end of the deal.
but what do we do about it? do we despair over it and ruin our day?
i say, let's just swallow the possibility, believe whatever you want to believe, and get back to the business of living. we happen to be here, we might as well enjoy the ride.
some of you philosopher types may now be punching wholes in my line of thinking. but either way the debate ends up, soul or no soul, doesn't make our time here less precious. and the prospect of having no soul actually makes it even more so. if we have no soul, and it follows, no afterlife, then our time here is the only one we've got.
now, if they only had a pill for hangovers, then that would be really great...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
