getting stranger and stranger...

The Malaysian use of mobile phone technology gets stranger by the day:

Malaysian bride jilted via SMS -- report

What's next? Divorce via SMS? Wait... oh yeah... they already have that...

Malaysia permits text message divorce

Weird...

choose...

If you were allowed to choose the manner of your death, which one would you choose? A slow death in which you are given enough time to give closure to all your affairs and prepare to meet your creator or a quick and painless death without the terror of knowing your impending doom?

miracles do happen

Saw this in the news last night. At last, a bit of good news from all the tragedy:

Miners pull out 4 buried under ruins
3 kids, grandma end 10-day ordeal

Miracles do happen...

which would you rather have

hmmm... another thought... which would you rather have, a temporary reality or an eternal illusion?

how outsourcing ruined christmas

Location, the North Pole, at the gates of Santa Claus's toy factory. It is just 2 days before Christmas eve, and factory production is way behind schedule. A huge mass of elves are gathered at the gates, angrily chanting slogans and waving placards. Heavily armed elf guards are blocking the gate entrance.

A reporter in a huge overcoat with her cameraman approaches the elf who seems to be one of the strike leaders, a fat little elf with a long beard, who kept on chanting "NO TO OUTSOURCING! DOWN WITH SANTA!". He proceeds to give the elf an interview.

Reporter:
Good morning mister elf, this is Korina Enriquez of XYZ news. We would like to ask some questions. Is it true that you, Santa's elves, are on strike?

Elf Strike Leader:
Yes, we are on strike. (Reporter gasps...) You heard me right. We elves are on [expletive deleted] strike. That [expletive deleted] crazy old man in the red suit wants to retrench us all and transfer all toy manufacturing operations to [expletive deleted] China. He says it's because it's [expletive deleted] cheaper. He's already started with the elves answering Santa's mails. He got them all fired and hired a [expletive deleted] call center in the Philippines to do the job. He says its cheaper and more efficient! But what about elvish welfare! That's a violation of the labor code!!!

Reporter:
But won't the strike ruin Christmas for all the children of the world? It's just 2 days before Christmas eve and production levels are way below the demanded volume of toys...

Elf Strike Leader:
Christmas?! Christmas?! [expletive deleted] Christmas!!! You ask us about Christmas when we are about to lose our only source of livelihood! That ungrateful Santa Claus! Without our help there would have been no [expletive deleted] Christmas!!! Without us there is no [expletive deleted] Santa Claus! No, we are Santa Claus!!

Reporter:
But won't you be negotiating with top management to settle things?

Elf Strike Leader:
Negotiate!? You want us to [expletive deleted] negotiate?! We shall only go back to work once we are assured of our jobs!

Suddenly, the factory gates open. A gaggle of elves dressed in coat and tie carrying black brief cases come out, surrounded by heavily armed guards. One of them approaches the elf strike leader and announces negotiations.

Santa's Negotiator:
We are here representing Santa Claus and top management. Santa agrees, in principle, that without you elves, his operations would have gone nowhere. And because of this, he is grateful, and wishes that you all come back to work. So in accordance with the Christmas spirit here is top management's generous offer. We will be giving you all one million dollars and stock options in Christmas Inc. as separation pay upon retrenchment.

Elf Strike Leader:
One million dollars!? One million [expletive deleted] dollars!? Stock options!? You ingrates! We want our jobs! We won't take no one million dollars!

Santa's Negotiator:
I'm sorry sir, but that is what management has to offer. Take it or leave it.

Immediately chaos erupts. The whole mass of protesting elves start shouting "WE WANT OUR JOBS!" or "NO TO OUTSOURCING!" or "DOWN WITH SANTA!". Members of Santa's negotiating team make a hasty retreat to the factory.

Soon the whole mass of protesting elves charged on the gates of Santa's factory. The guards though were quick enough to get inside and lock the gates. The protesters started pushing on the gates, and then... the unthinkable happened.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

Gunshots were fired. One guard fell, wounded. The guards then fired on the protesters. Chaos. With the fire in their veins kindled, the guards kept firing. And firing. And firing. One by one the protesting elves fell, staining the north pole's snow with crimson blood. And then an eerie silence.

Silently, the reporter and his cameraman captured everything, watching on the sidelines. And a blow by blow account of the incident was seen on the 6 o'clock news.

And that is how outsourcing ruined Christmas.


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Written for those who died in the massacre at Hacienda Luisita, and for all farmers still seeking for genuine land reform.

P.S. I am not against outsourcing. I just thought Santa Claus outsourcing his operations would be funny.

ang bangaw sa sabaw

Woke up 5 in the morning and couldn't go back to sleep, so thought this one up. My initial attempt at making silly little poems in bisaya...

Isa ka adlaw
May isa ka bangaw
Tungod's pagkahanggaw
Nalunod sa sabaw

Was just bored :)

an epiphany

Life is too short. Why do I keep forgetting that...

mornings

Your day starts. You are still in your dream state, when a vague ring of your alarm clock reaches your ears. Painfully, you open your eyes, and push yourself out of bed. Thus, the morning ritual starts. Take a bath. Breakfast. Dress for work.

And then the long, polluted, traffic jammed commute to work. All sorts of people ride and get off the jeepney. It is all a blur to you. Then you get off your stop. You walk. You enter the office. You seem to be early, only a few are at their tables. Back to the hell hole, you think.

You open your PC, your inbox is flooded with emails. Who're all these from, you wonder. Quickly scanning the list, you see more emails from irate clients and your annoyed boss. Great. Just great. What a great start for your day.

Then you figure out what to do for the day. This I'll do, and this, and that too. And you slave on, stubbornly on, like a horse pulling on its carriage. Tis a hard life, you think. And you start to question, the point of it all. What is the point? This is madness, you tell yourself, allowing to be subjected to all this.

But then, you turn, and a wonderful vision overtakes you. A vision of great beauty, like the beams of sunrise piercing the darkness and gloom of a long, cold night. You forget everything, as a goddess descends on the room. Incredulously, you stare, as her delicate figure enters the door and crosses the aisle.

Her angelic face. Her flowing hair. Her beautiful smile. Her graceful yet unassuming manner. Time stops. Your world stops. Your heart palpitates. Your insides are sommersaulting like mad.

And for that single moment, everything seems right in the world. Contentedly, you watch her. And then, you start dreaming. What if, she's the one. Visions of happily ever after scenarios pass through your head.

But then, your superego catches up with you. What on earth am I doing? Get back to work! A rude awakening from a beautiful dream. So, like a slave whipped by his cruel task master, you go back to work. And you press on, and on. You sigh at everything that has to be accomplished for the day.

But then, a smile crosses your face, knowing that an angel is just nearby, to take you away, if only for a moment.

to the dogs, i say!

gawd, what the hell is going on to this country:

P1-B lobby for 'sin' taxes

a government controlled by the moneyed elite...

Angara confirms meeting with Arroyo

then politicians with no backbone who only act out of political convenience and not out of ideals...

What bonus? Gov't workers gripe

and an under paid government workforce that is forced to resort to corruption...

This country is going to the dogs, I say!!! To the dogs!!!

blue verse

Feeling a little pathetic last night on the way home, thought up this silly little poem:

i feel so blue
it feels like the flu
it sticks just like glue
like gum on my shoe.

Yes, i know, it maybe a bit childish... but it helps me laugh inspite of myself...

rain rain rain

It was raining, and I had a headache...

rain rain rain
please fall on my brain
my head is in pain
and i might go insane

This is fun... :)

good boy, good boy...

Found this passage in the bible, which i thought rather strange.

The righteous perish,
and no one ponders it in his heart;
devout men are taken away,
and no one understands
that the righteous are taken away
to be spared from evil.
Those who walk uprightly enter into peace;
they find rest as they lie in death.
- Isaiah 57:1,2

Sure gives meaning to the lyrics of that tagalog rap song, "Good boy, good boy, ang bait mo naman, sana kunin ka na ni Lord."

i wish the ring had never come to me...

Watching fellowship of the ring, a scene struck me as appropriate considering the events of the past month, having been reminded countless times of my own mortality. The fellowship, in their attempt to reach Mordor, got lost going through the mines of Moriah. Demoralized by the difficulty of their task, Frodo then confessed to Gandalf, "I wish the ring had never come to me". To which Gandalf replied, "So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All you have to decide is what to do with the time given to you."

my first post

greetings. welcome to my blog. i finally coerced myself to starting one. if any of you have questions, protestations, or violent reactions, please reserve them for the comments section. good day.